We are 12 hours to Baby Kate.
TWELVE FREAKING HOURS.
Barring any disaster that precludes me from getting into that OR tomorrow, we are having a baby at 9 am. Now, I say barring a disaster. It would have to be a disaster because at this point they are NOT turning me away, there will be room at this inn or I will C-section myself. I am not Mary. I will not graciously be turned away.
We just can't believe tomorrow is here, that this is the reality and that this is where we are in life. We are about to become parents to a second baby - a baby we didn't count on, or plan, or think possible.
I have these three pictures. (I'll get to them.) But I was looking at these pictures tonight thinking about how life just isn't planable - I'm seeing via the red squiggle on my screen that planable isn't a word but I couldn't careless. I'm sticking with it.
I look at these pictures and think "My god. Nothing has gone as planned. And how amazing is that? How lucky are we that it didn't go as planned?"
We took this picture the night before my C-section with Sam. We wanted to capture a final picture of our little family.
It had taken us a lifetime too long to get to that point and we were so blessed to be there. We were having a baby - a baby we had just about given up on.
A year later, we went back to that restaurant for dinner and took a picture in the same spot on the way out the door. I thought it would be fun to show Sam someday.
Who I can also show is Baby Kate. Because I'm pregnant with her here and if I had an understanding of my body and the basics of human reproduction, I should have known I was pregnant. If we had been "trying" for her, we would have known. Instead we took this picture unknowing of the future and off we went to dinner.
Jack died not long after this picture was taken and I said it in his obit and I'll say it again. He served his purpose. He did his job. He got us to the moment we were parents and the day we took that picture - the day we should have known we were having another baby - is when Jack turned gravely ill. You can't tell me that's a coincidence. He knew we were good to go and he was good to go.
Tonight, we took this picture - our final picture of us three before we add the little surprise that could.
And I'll tell her when she's older: you were a surprise. You were not planned. And how beautiful is that about your life? We didn't even dream that we could have you or dare to imagine a life with you - we had learned better than that in our journey to have Sam. But there was another plan in motion, one we didn't get consulted on, and how lucky are we. We got you.
Life is most certainly not a planable thing. And tomorrow, we get to meet the most unplanned part of our family. We can't wait.
See you on the flip side.