You wanna talk about a parenting win? Oh I'll give you one.
The above picture is the aftermath of what was one heckuva a ten minutes. Arguably Sam and my finest hours. I apologize that I do not have other pictures to accompany this story but really what am I supposed to do, tell Sam - mid urination on the carpet - to hold please while I get a quick pic?
I'm getting ahead of myself.
Sam and I decided on an impromptu trip to the zoo. We had nothing going on and that makes for a time-ticking backwards day in stay at home motherhood. I couldn't face what was ahead of me and needed a full day game plan fast.
He woke up from his nap, I said "what do you want to do today?" He said "huh huh huh" (because he's super verbal and so full of language - head shake) so I assumed he said "zoo".
I believe with all my heart that Sam thinks "zoo" is actually Dicks (for the non Seattle folk - Dicks is the place where the cool hang out so sayeth Sir Mix A Lot. It's also the place where cheeseburgers are cheap and delicious). We have yet to complete a zoo trip without going to Dicks to he's melded these two concepts into one. I support it and enable it.
We had a lovely day at Dicks/the zoo. Walked our butts off, played our hearts out, saw some questionable monkey behavior and headed home for second nap (yes, Sam Allison does still take two naps. In other news, there is a God and he loves me).
Sam was exhausted.
I was exhausted.
Nap time was going to be amazing for everyone involved.
EXCEPT. Sam elected to reject nap time upon arrival at home. I have no idea why and have yet to determine the cause of the rejection. But, I was busy making dinner / taking my union break so sorry, not sorry Sam. Enjoy some time in your crib alone with your thoughts, prayers, tag blanket and teddy dog.
After 45 minutes of solid rejection time, I had no choice but to spring him from his baby jail and face the acceptance stage in my nap loss grief process. We (I) decided we should at least do a little rest time together on my bed with the help of a water bottle and Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood. We had a lovely 15 minutes of reflection and peace.
Again, I was exhausted. I cannot stress this enough.
Sam had had enough of the quiet reflection bull and decided we should play the "nigh nigh.....WAKE UP" game. Fine fine. I did't have anything else going on except mourning the loss of nap time.
At some point during the "nigh nigh.....WAKE UP" game, I failed to wake up.
Look. I am pregnant. I don't sleep well at night. We had spent a warm day at the zoo. I was exhausted. Judgy wudgy was a bear and probably a questionable parent too.
What I would like to know is how long Sam waited for me to WAKE UP before realizing the freedom windfall he had just been granted. Tough to tell. I was asleep after all.
So, a few minutes later I wake up to giggle boy running back into my room in true jubilation looking elated, proud, and wanting to share his excitement with BFF Mommy. It was at this moment I realized his adrenaline rush of happiness was from taking his own diaper off for the first time.That wiener was just a flapping in the baby wind, swaying with uncaged pride.
Good visual, huh?
I flew out of bed a la Home Alone and chased his little naked buns down the hallway, past the forgotten diaper, and into his room.
He was laughing so hard he began peeing and really, is there anything more distinctive than the sound of urine hitting carpet? Urine is now firing all over his room and I'm taking in the view of what should have been his room.
During his alone time crime spree, he had opened every drawer in his dresser, removed 90% of the toys from his basket, and all of his remaining clean diapers were strewn about. A baby rave had clearly taken place during Rip Van Mommy's time away.
So. The above picture. That was taken after rediapering him - learning a valuable lesson that cloth diapers with Velcro tabs need pants on them at all times - and after hauling the carpet cleaner up the stairs for de-urinefication. Behind him is evidence of the disaster I found in his room along with the very proud owner of the mayhem.
From now on, I'm going to try really, really hard to not fall asleep during the day shift. It sounds like a simple goal, doesn't it? One would think.