oh baby. it's demo derby time.

We have an announcement and it does not involve me being accidentally pregnant.

Meet the newest member to the family:

She's a 1969 Ford Station Wagon. Ain't she a beaut? Ok so she actually looked a lot better before she was gutted and bashed in with a sledge hammer. But we still think she's gorgeous.

The important part is that she's ours and we love her.

And in one week we will beat the ever loving crap out of her at the County Fair.

Who's ready for story time?

Welcome to a Demolition Derby.

Let's start with basics: What - it's a car race; last car standing wins. Where - Chuck's home town's county fair. Why - Because it's freaking awesome.

I'm just so excited to write this post; I know I'm bouncing around a lot.

Ok. So here's the scoop.

Chuck will be racing this station wagon beast in the county fair in just a few short days. Yes, mild mannered Chuck in a demolition derby. Hold on to your hats.

For those with class unfamiliar with a demolition derby, allow me to paint a picture in words: A bunch of old cars on a rodeo track all pulled in against the walls in a circle. They say go and it's madness. Last man standing. Most of the race is in reverse and yes, they are just running into each other. When your car dies, you're out.

It is loud.
It is rowdy.
It is a perfect evening activity for Sam.

It's not as easy as it looks. Like there are real "smarts" to this.
Yes, Chuck has done this before. He got 6th last time.
Yes, I have seen him do this and did sign off on it WITH ALL MY HEART.

I freaking love the demo derby. We all do. Family, friends, countryman who have an understanding of the demo derby and Chuck.

She's the pride of the neighborhood right now. Chuck's childhood neighborhood. Not mine. Chuck's mom is a saint.
Chuck did the derby twice in high school and then the first two years of college, so he has taken an 11 year maternity leave into adulthood. It's been a while. I saw the two in college and they are just as amazing as you think. If you have the means, I highly encourage you to go to one.

Why this year? Combination of reasons: Chuck's "not legally his step dad, but for all intents and purposes" step dad Mark, has ties to this demolition derby so why not build the car together? The car literally fell in their lap and by lap, I mean, Mark chit chatted with an elderly man in line at Burger King -- yada, yada, yada -- he bought him a chicken sandwich and the car from him. This makes a lot of sense if you know Mark.

The back end was pristine until the sledge hammer. This will help it crumple "correctly" when Chuck takes a beating.
So far, Chuck and Mark (with help from a friend) have stripped the car inside and out. The windows and the tailgate are gone. A roll bar has been added and so has a harness. This car is a manual transmission so Chuck has been working to rewire the transmission from a "three on the tree" shifting situation to a more standard one on the floor. Yes, he knows how to do this kind of stuff. Renaissance man. I want to be impressed by all this work but he's a gomer and I'm desensitized.

To be done: moving the fuel tank, moving the battery (and adding one) to the front seat, changing the ignition to switches, and continuing to weld, fine tune, and make it perfect. It's a lot but man, it's worth it.

There are rules. You can't build a tank. But we will get this baby as close to possible as we can. And I say we because Chuck's sister and I are painting the car this weekend which means we have an equal stake in its completion, right? Right. We will have basically done as much work.

I will tell you that the demo derby does look a little different at 32 than at 21 years old. Suddenly roll cages, protective transmission blankets, and walls of iron are built for protection. Apparently from 21 to 32 you turn human and mortal.

I'll keep you posted on how the progress goes. For now, FYI, it's demo derby time.

Get ready. Bet'cha didn't see this coming.

I thought we were doing balloon animals. Apparently, this is not for circus tricks.

1 comment:

  1. So awesome!! I am sure Chuck has charts, graphs and all that other mathematical crap that will let him know the probability of winning/not winning, etc.!! Good Luck Chuck!!


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