|"This is your doctor. I have your pregnancy report here, and guess what. You got knocked up."|
So, how ya doing?
You believing this?
Want me to go on? Sure you do. You is curious like the freaking cat on this story. I know you too well.
In summary, I'm pregnant.
Need a little more? Try this on for size: I'm real pregnant. Like natural, on our own, oops - how did this happen pregnant. Sam is our GMO baby. This is our organic baby.
In the report card of life, the Allisons get an F for family planning. First, we can't make a baby when we want to; then, we make a baby when we don't. Even in infertility, we technically fail (wink).
Do you need a second to take this in? Because trust me, I've had 13 weeks of seconds and I still haven't taken this all the way in.
Ok. Let's see.
First, obviously, we are calling this the Accidental Allison because who saw this coming? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
Wait, wait, wait.
You might say "I did! This happens to people all the time when they stop trying." Well I'm gonna stop you right there. Please to remember that Chuck and I do not have "unexplained infertility." We have very explained, very medical reasons on both sides of the table that equal "we can't make a baby" (except spoiler alert: we just did, whoops). No amount of relaxing can fix our issues, but we think Sam did - I'll get to that.
The "Accident" was initially noticed at Sam's first birthday party, but really - I can't get pregnant so who cares if I'm a day or two late? A week late however and I finally drove my tired, sore butt to Fred Meyer, told Sam his mother is a crazy person, and went home to take a test that lit up like a Christmas Tree. Apparently I wasn't totally crazy, just 100% knocked up.
The going theory - between us and our doctors - is Sam. We believe Sam hit the reset button on my hormoney problem. My side of the reject coin had to due with my body's inability to produce enough hormones each month to make a mature egg. Pregnancy does crazy things to your body and in my case, we believe Sam was the equivalent of blowing on a Nintendo cartridge.
Also, side note, and I think you'll really get a kick out of this: this baby was definitely minted during National Infertility Awareness Week. So I'm thinking maybe our bodies weren't as aware of how infertile they were as we thought...Oh the irony. We are a walking cliché.
So that's the buzz. Sorry I haven't been blogging much the last 8 weeks or so. Morning sickness with this kid has been of Biblical proportions and much of that time was spent with Fe bringing over dinners in Tupperware, raising Sam and running a pregnant hospice for me. I'm finally coming out of it and it no longer hurts my body to look at a computer screen. We are back in business.
Oh and for those of you attempting mental math, I'll save you the time. The Allison kids will be a mere 20 months apart when #2 arrives in early January. Send prayers, dinners, and tranquilizers (kidding).
WE'RE HAVING A BABY!!!!