a teeny, tiny baby drinking problem

Someone in this house has a bit of a drinking problem.

Any recommendations for a Baby 12-step program that ends WITH baby addicted to whole milk? Oh I know usually 12-step programs work the other way, but I'm looking for something to get him hooked on this stuff.

HE HATES IT.

Not like, "Oh yeah, could you hold the pickles?" type hatred but more like "Why would you offend my very being; I hate you and I hate your ugly face" type hatred.

Bottom of his soul.
Firey, unyielding passion.
Think Julia Stiles vs. Andrew Keegan in 10 Things I Hate About You.

I don't feel like I can be any clearer.

FINE.

Here's video proof.

Sigh. Had I kept filming three second longer I would have gotten his trademark "fart face noise of disgust" over the milk. But continuing on.....

What KILLS me is this kid seems to have a palate for a wide range of other beverages after water. (Don't worry, I have photographic evidence). 


Hose water.

 
Fruit and vegie smoothies.


McDonalds coke.
He's like Gollum..."Ooooh my precious coke..."


Cherry coke.
(This can was empty, but man, what commitment. What an effort!)


Nordstrom mocha.
 

Decaf Americano with white mocha and room for cream.


3 shots of decaf espresso in a grande cup over ice with white mocha and splash of breve.

Milk. Chocolate Milk. Almond Milk. Cold. Warm. Hot.
No. No. No. No. No. No.
Sippy, bottle, straw, cup.
Please. NO.

We are 100% weaned as of last week, Sammy Baby, so chop chop. I'm getting a little sick of shoveling yogurt and cheese into your calcium deficient face. Time to hop of the Got Milk train and get over it.

4 comments:

  1. I was the same way when I was little and the pediatrician said not to worry. (This was the 80s, so it was way before we all became lactose intolerant and weird) She said that cows milk was made for baby cows and since I was a baby human, I didn't really need it. I turned out to have super strong bones and teeth (never broken anything). I'm lactose intolerant/weird now, so I'm glad I never really developed a taste for milk. Cheese, however, I miss the heck out of!

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  2. If you were to shoot a video of me drinking milk, my shirt would be white and wet *just* like that. I get it, Sam.

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  3. Abby is not a fan of the milk either - and she does the same open mouth, let it drip out and all over her shirt action. She just gets lots of yogurt and cheese. (And she weighs like 27 lbs, so I'm not too worried about her.) ;)

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Tell me about it. Oh and thanks for validating my life.

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