What I was done with wasn't the pregnancy. Really. Even with an 11 pound monster child festering in my nether regions, I loved being pregnant. I loved every minute of it to the moment I laid on that operating table. I'm one of those women. The kind who died for every back ache, loved each swollen ankle equally, and was fine fine fine with gaining 43 pounds and outweighing her husband by 20.
That's not saying much.
Really, I outweighed Slim by 18 weeks.
But anyways, I was done with school. Done with teaching. Today is my retirement anniversary except no one got me a gold watch which I still think is rude even a year later.
I've said it before and I'll say it a million times again: I'm sorry (not sorry) but I just don't miss it. Ok, that might be a little too black and white even for me. I miss my friends, both little and big. I miss the conversations and the moments where wonder and learning meet. And of course, I miss the vain parts: walking into a room and having 20 tiny people beg for your attention, tell you how beautiful you look and love you absolutely unconditionally.
But on second thought. I've got one tiny person who is doing a pretty darn good job at making up for the ones I'm missing out on. It has been one heckuva ride learning to be a stay at home mom but I'm not gonna lie. I am nailing it. Mostly the humble parts of it.
I love this life.
I love this job.
I('m learning to) love this path we took.
We may have taken a more zig zaggy route to get here, but we got here. And that's all that matter.
Thank you for all your kind comments this week as I opened up more about what infertility has looked like to us. And I have been truly humbled by those of you who have opened up and shared your struggle, battle and wounds from this process. It is a painful, trying, life changing journey with an ending that will wash away the scares, eventually.
Photo Dump Friday is still happening, because I sense your Sam photo intake levels are dangerously low from all the Infertility Awareness Week posts.
Enjoy your weekend.
|There is a reason his nickname is Sunshine Boy. Ok so this is more of a literal sunshine boy but you get it.|
|1st birthday decoration making is in full swing. And by that I mean totally done and ready to go. Nine days to D-day. Holy oh my.|
|One of my friends calls his monitor viewing PARENTnormal activity. Yup.|
|Eyelashes for days.|
|Officially bought milk with his birthday expiration date. It got real. And yes we drink whole milk. Own it.|
|Easter outfit was slammin'.|
|He squeals when we turn the corner to the park. His swinging skills are top notch.|
|After swimming in a puddle during outside lunch, it was a white onesy ride home. He was so proud of his splashing. And so happy with how soaked he was. I mean, if you haven't finished the day filthy, you've failed at childhood that day.|
|What was it I said about those eye lashes?|
|He sang "lemme take a selfie" and I was mortified.|
|His very own donut. Life hit a high point Thursday.|
|His breakfast is equal parts oatmeal and cat fur.|