understanding what "backyard project" means

This is the story of how Chuck and I had widely different understandings of what this backyard project involved. Good thing I had nothing to do with this project.

It was time to redo the backyard this Spring. I briefly mentioned this a month ago when Thunder came to visit.

Sam needs grass to play on and I need him to have a wildlife cage-pen like area that he can roam free in (once he learns to roam) and our current backyard has no grass. I'd love for Sam to be raised cage-free but it's not going to happen. I would also like him to NOT be grass fed but that dream is also going out the window (it's so tasty, mama!). Moving on from how my baby is not an organic cow...

Chuck has worked tirelessly on this backyard project for the last six weeks, and at a lightning pace that goes against all his genes (Go Chuck Go). I think he's been hoping to finish by Sam's birthday. He works every night from Sam's bedtime to way past dark. And then every weekend from sun up to sun down. I'd help, but I don't want to I'm stuck inside doing the Lord's work and raising the child. Shoot. I'm just dying to get out there.

It's been an insane amount of work and that leads me to why I've asked you to come here today - other than that you love me and are just DYING to know what's going on in The Allison Wonderland.

Let's talk about my understanding of the backyard project vs. Chuck's understanding of the backyard project. Spoiler alert: Nothing I'm about to type should in any way surprise you. If it does, you have some light homework to do on our life by reading this post on the bathroom remodel, this post on using trig to hang a ladder and this post on house painting. This backyard project is just one of many...

Susie's understanding of the project:
1. Pull up deck.
2. Lay down sod.

BAM! Backyard. This sounds simple enough. Heck, I'll help do this. I can pull up a deck. Shocker, I have actually done that before. Hold the baby, get me a drill and a crow bar.

OK. So as it turns out that's not all that goes into building a backyard. If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet.. well, you know.

Chuck's understanding of the project:
1. Pull up deck.
2. Regrade backyard with existing dirt.
3. Dig 100 feet of trenches for a sprinkler system
4. Build a sprinkler system.
5. Spread top soil.
6. Lay down sod.

Alright, so, I mean we weren't that far off from each other. Aside from steps 2-5, I had a complete and total understanding of this project. Probably a good thing I have had nothing to do with it, right? My talents are better served elsewhere like watching and feigning interest in the steps.

Will you look back at steps... well, ok so maybe steps 2-5 are all pretty heavy duty, but note step 4: building a sprinkler system.

So...those things just don't magically appear under grass? I'm so confused. I was sure the water fairy left those under your sod pillow. Apparently, they do not.

But apparently Chuck knows how to build one?

No, but "I'll figure it out."

Really, Chaz? I couldn't figure out how to make gravy from the red wine pot roast, but sprinkler system. Oh you got this. No big deal.

The sub steps for building a sprinkler system in Chuck's project outline would be into the "i" "ii" "iii" range. Think research paper from college. C'mon. You can do it. You can get that joke.

Some gifts for you.
DIAGRAMS WERE MADE for this project.

Hokay. Welcome to diagram-a-polooza: sprinkler system edition.

I don't know what this one means, but it's clearly mathy and number. I see angles. I see psi. It's like a code. Chuck hieroglyphics. I find these diagrams on the table when I come downstairs in the morning like the remnants of an advanced nighttime civilization. I'm currently looking for the Rosetta stone to unlock the meaning of these marks (unless that's in US weekly, I doubt I'll find it).

I know what this one is!!! Woot woot. THIS is a drawing for the valve box that Chuck built. The drawing is of the valve assembly for going into the valve box.
Ok so circle of trust, I had to call Chuck at work to get further understanding than that and good news, I'm more confused now than ever. Something about electrically actuated, signals to open valves, circuits and I went into my happy place where I hear him but I don't hear him. Think adult voices in Charlie Brown.   
I do know that he built this to connect the new system to the existing system and to be able to control both from the box in the garage. Wires were used. More trenches dug. Please do not ask me more.

My favorite drawing. This is a scale drawing of our backyard, for starters. Making this diagram involved the use of a compass, but he didn't have one so he made a make shift one out of a paper clip and a sticky note. Math MacGyver. The dots are where the proposed sprinkler heads would be and the arc is their spray zone based on calculating water pressure and sprinkler head capabilities (definitely made that last part up).

Now I did get a "lecture" from Chuck about how clearly he's cheating the watering system because obviously this isn't enough sprinkler heads but since we live in Seattle and rain is not scares, he could back off on the coverage and save himself from digging another 100 feet of tranches. OBVIOUSLY. I always love how he acts like I'll notice things like this or like it was on the tip of my tongue and he's saving face by saying what I must be thinking. Sure.

So, back to the lists of how this project goes. I feel I was stunningly accurate and I'm assuming you agree. BUT, if we are going off of Chuck's list, then steps 1-4 are done. The top soil comes tonight and the sod comes Thursday. I have lots of pictures, don't worry. We'll share the trench digging, regrading, and sprinkler system building for then. But FYI - of course the system works. Flawlessly. Would you expect anything less?

Hope you wanted a backyard for your birthday Sam because that's what you're getting. Run free Little Sam, run free.

[monday meals mashup] week six

We are in countdown mode to Sam's birthday. It is so close I can almost taste it.

More or less, I'm in survival mode for the week. Obviously, decorations are already going up because this party is a big deal in Sam's life and one that he will remember for years to come. What? I have been waiting a LONG TIME to throw a first birthday party. This is like motherhood prom to me. I might have my make up done Sunday. No. But I could.

Anyways, it's set to be beautiful around here up until party day, but oh well. And when I say beautiful, I mean it's going to be 80 here Thursday. In an ideal world, my meal plan would be all on the grill this week to keep the house cool and the summer vibes flowing but...no such luck. The Grill Master will be laying down top soil and sod throughout the week to make someone more important than me and my grilling needs a real backyard. It's such bull.

I'm sure you're thinking why don't I learn to grill and handle it myself?
Well, I'm thinking you must have bought stock in fire extinguishers and are planning a get rich quick scheme suggesting I grill. Plz. That just ain't gonna happen.

Instead, keeping it simple this week and hassle free because my time is better spent curling ribbons and birthday collaging than in the kitchen.

The week.

Monday: Last night, we had the Honey Garlic Chicken that is allll the rage on the Pinterest. It was rage worthy, I will admit. And the sauce you cook it in made a glaze about twice the size of what the chicken needed. So, it waits in the fridge for salmon tonight. I reason it will be good on baked salmon. If I reason wrong, DiGiorno makes a wonderful stuffed crust pizza.

Tuesday: Pasta with Peas and Proscuitto. I used to make this monthly and now I think it's been years. Going to the archives for this gem from Great Food Fast, aka the best cookbook - you must own it.

Wednesday: Tacos. I'll make homemade Spanish rice using this recipe to class up this meal. This is the best Spanish rice recipe I've ever found. It's also the only Spanish rice recipe I've ever found or tried.

Thursday: Talk about classy and we end with Tuna Noodle Casserole. If you like tuna noodle, then I beg of you to try this recipe. You won't be disappointed. I'll make the casserole in the morning, pop it in the fridge, and then bake it after we get home from Sam's 12 month appointment. I love dinners that I can make ahead of time.

Friday, Saturday, and Sunday: Birthday weekend! The relatives begin descending on Party Central in the early Friday hours so it's going to be a full weekend celebrating Mr. Baby and all the joy he's brought to our lives.

I FINALLY figured out how to reply to comments - I'm slow and old - so let me know what you're making this week or questions about our meals. I'd love to chat. I have nothing else to do.

Check out Ashley's menu at Life on the Parsons Farm for more ideas.

my year / photo dump friday.

And this is what I was doing a year ago today.


And done.

What I was done with wasn't the pregnancy. Really. Even with an 11 pound monster child festering in my nether regions, I loved being pregnant. I loved every minute of it to the moment I laid on that operating table. I'm one of those women. The kind who died for every back ache, loved each swollen ankle equally, and was fine fine fine with gaining 43 pounds and outweighing her husband by 20.

That's not saying much.

Really, I outweighed Slim by 18 weeks.

But anyways, I was done with school. Done with teaching. Today is my retirement anniversary except no one got me a gold watch which I still think is rude even a year later.

I've said it before and I'll say it a million times again: I'm sorry (not sorry) but I just don't miss it. Ok, that might be a little too black and white even for me. I miss my friends, both little and big. I miss the conversations and the moments where wonder and learning meet. And of course, I miss the vain parts: walking into a room and having 20 tiny people beg for your attention, tell you how beautiful you look and love you absolutely unconditionally.

But on second thought. I've got one tiny person who is doing a pretty darn good job at making up for the ones I'm missing out on. It has been one heckuva ride learning to be a stay at home mom but I'm not gonna lie. I am nailing it. Mostly the humble parts of it.

I love this life.
I love this job.
I('m learning to) love this path we took.

We may have taken a more zig zaggy route to get here, but we got here. And that's all that matter.

Thank you for all your kind comments this week as I opened up more about what infertility has looked like to us. And I have been truly humbled by those of you who have opened up and shared your struggle, battle and wounds from this process. It is a painful, trying, life changing journey with an ending that will wash away the scares, eventually.


Photo Dump Friday is still happening, because I sense your Sam photo intake levels are dangerously low from all the Infertility Awareness Week posts.

Enjoy your weekend.

There is a reason his nickname is Sunshine Boy. Ok so this is more of a literal sunshine boy but you get it.

1st birthday decoration making is in full swing. And by that I mean totally done and ready to go. Nine days to D-day. Holy oh my.

This picture is such a good representation of the kind of kid Sam is. Not quite 1, sitting in a chair, not really being held there, eating an ice cream cone politely. This is him. He finished most of it quietly and then just kind of hung out. That's Sam Allison for you.

One of my friends calls his monitor viewing PARENTnormal activity. Yup.

Eyelashes for days.


Officially bought milk with his birthday expiration date. It got real. And yes we drink whole milk. Own it.

Easter outfit was slammin'.

He squeals when we turn the corner to the park. His swinging skills are top notch.

After swimming in a puddle during outside lunch, it was a white onesy ride home. He was so proud of his splashing. And so happy with how soaked he was. I mean, if you haven't finished the day filthy, you've failed at childhood that day.

What was it I said about those eye lashes?

He sang "lemme take a selfie" and I was mortified.

His very own donut. Life hit a high point Thursday.

His breakfast is equal parts oatmeal and cat fur.

Peek-a-boo champion.

tbt to when sam was cells

Throwback Thursday National Infertility Awareness Week style. We are throwing it all the way back today to when Sam was a developing embryo. Isn't he the cutest little hatching blastocyst you ever did see? He's five days developed and ready to be implanted. He was just dying to go to a good uterus home and snuggle into some uterine lining. Good news: I was so hopped up on hormonies, I was ready for him.

If you need help with this biology lesson, well lucky lucky you. Professor Chuck has you covered.

Good thing this is TBT so I can get away with reposting both of these pictures under the guise of being "cool" and "hip" - oh you kids keep me young. Today's post is such a hack job. But hey! Thanks for stopping by, I super appreciate it.

Having a photo of Sam in the embryo development stage of his life is such a win for Team Infertile. Am I right? I mean you fertile people think you are so cool with your 10 week ultrasound pictures. Please. I've been watching this baby grow since he was one of twenty or so ovarian follicles.

Second brief biology lesson: You grow follicles each month that house the maturing egg. At ovulation the follicle releases the egg for baby making purposes. Basically, in a nut shell. Or an egg shell, really.

Ok. Back to why Team Infertile is AWESOME (oxymoron but c'mon - I'm learning to be OK with the hand I was dealt).

Via ultrasounds every other day (and not the on-the-belly kind - wink wink) we measured follicles and watched them grow and grow and grow their big ol' eggs that were just waiting for the other half of their DNA to be inserted. World's best "insert here" moment. Obviously, we didn't know which follicle contained the Sam egg. I couldn't tell which one had the blue eyes that you could get lost in - you know, grainy ultrasound screen. What? I'm not a bad Mom. There were 18 of them.

Work that number through your brain if you are unfamiliar with IVF. You normal human ladies ovulate one to two eggs each month. My body was manipulated into spitting out 18. And that's not even my PR. My cycle high was 30 eggs - what, what! Actually, that's not something to be proud of. I get no medal. Quantity over quantity. My bad. I'm hyper competitive even in stimulated ovulation.

As far as baby pictures go and being overly involved in your child's development, Team Infertile all the way. We are helicopter parents before they're even fertilized. Give me some over protective credit here. I've been advocating for this kid before he had even divided once.

For 17 days of stimulation (at four shots a night - holla at'cha Miss Susie Pin Cushion) we had six ultrasounds or so - of the wand variety - to monitor the growth of the follicles. We watched over them and prayed for them and wondered if they held the beautiful miracle we hoped for.

Spoiler alert, they did. It did.

Five days after my 18 eggs were harvested - actual term, couldn't make that up if I wanted to - we saw our first photo of Sam and he was sent back to where he came from. We don't have pictures of them yet, but two sibling potentials were also put on ice that day and stored for safe keeping. Not in our freezer but a real science people type freezer. Don't worry, there's no danger of his sibling embryos being made into a margarita.

And that's the win of Team Infertile that I'll take: helicopter parents from day 1. Actually BEFORE day 1 when you think about it. So no one will be surprised when Sam is put in a bubble and on a leash, right? Right. He's a lot of time and money just running around carefree. Just sayin'.

8 things to be aware of (when talking to infertile couples)

I've decided that it is Awareness Day for National Infertility Awareness Week. My infertility, my infertility week. My blog, your problems.

Ok. So. Awareness Day begins...

First, be aware that 1 in 8 couples face infertility. It's a significant number.
And that male factors contribute just as often as female factors.
And that you've probably offended someone who's trying to conceive.

Oops. What that too harsh? Too finger pointed?

Look. I'm not aiming to blame anyone for not knowing how to handle this, or handling it wrong, or accidentally saying the wrong thing. I checked Amazon - there's no "so your friend is infertile" book. Which there really should be.

Because people say some pretty awful things without realizing what they're doing.

It wasn't my support system that ever said anything wrong. It was strangers, acquaintances, people I know but don't know who I had just about had it with (and am still dealing with). It was their questions that cut the deepest, incited the most rage, and made my anger go to 11. No jury of infertile women would ever convict me for the things I mentally did.

Today is Be Aware of What You Say to People Day  so sayeth Me.

Some of these are things said to me, some to friends, and some I hear all the time. Somehow, we have to stop this cycle - infertility pun intended. We need to raise awareness of infertility in that
1. It exists.
2. You probably know someone who faced or is facing an uphill conception battle.
3. Even the smallest comment matters. Good or bad.

Here's my list.
And my open apology for how bitter some of this comes across. Sue me. But don't. I spent all my money on a baby so you'll get nothing.

People. How is that any of your business? Why is this OK to ask people? Unless you will be one of the baby's parents, you have no business asking this. Trust me, you have asked someone who is infertile this question before - because it's harmless! everyone asks!-  and you have torn their heart out. I'm sorry for being blunt. Let me sugar coat this more for you.

Nope, changed my mind.

I'm leaving it. That feeling you get like you've been punched in the gut, that's what it feels like to be asked this when you're trying to conceive. Stop asking this question. I'm invoking the 'Diary Of' principle here. "You think you know, but you have no idea". Plenty of people were shocked that Chuck and I had so many problems (fertility problems, other problems are a given) and so much had gone on without them knowing. You just can't ask people this question. You don't know what's going on in their life.

I'll see you the above answer and raise you this snotty one:
You know when I wanted to have children? 2009.

You know when I had a baby? 2013.

Bitter Betsy party for Susie.

Whatevs. That's a lot of time to be asked this turd of a question over and over. You don't ask someone who is struggling with obesity when they want to lose weight. You don't ask someone who is unemployed when they want to get a job. You wouldn't. You're a good person. You have tact. Emily Post would have loved you.

So why is this question okay to ask? It shouldn't be. Stop asking it. Instead, listen to people as they talk. Really listen. Unless they bring up having children, don't. Unless they mention their family planning timeline, don't enquire. Keep your foot out of your mouth.

Oh my gosh, is that what we did wrong? We tried too hard. Where were you with this magical piece of information in 2010?!

Okay, I've calmed down. Yes, stress can play a role in a woman's ability to conceive and this could be the case in some "unexplained infertility" couples. But there are medical reasons for infertility and those reasons account for two-thirds of all cases.

Take us. You could wipe our memory, set us in Hawaii, liquor us up and it won't fix our problems - although, if anyone would like to fund this experiment, you have my email. We would be more than happy to oblige.

Infertility is a disease. And it should be treated like one - but that's a rabbit hole on insurance policies and state politics that I'm not going into today. Think of it this way: someone gets diagnosed with diabetes. Do you tell them to stop trying to regulate their blood sugar and it will manage itself? Of course not. They need help fighting the disease. So do we.

Someone actually said this to a friend of mine. I don't really see how time zones or area codes play a role in fertility, but that's just me. You know what happens on vacation?  I end up crying in Grand Central Station, giving $20 to the pregnant homeless woman panhandling. And then Chuck has a mess to deal with for the rest of the day. That's what happens on vacation. The hollow feeling doesn't take a vacation just because you did.

I understand the thinking behind saying this and thinking it's ok. Human nature is to try and give ideas that might help. But this is not a valid suggestion and saying it definitely won't help. Saaawreea.

If someone has opened up to you about their struggles, listen first and if you have no idea what to say, "I'm so sorry" works wonders.

One of my best friends gave me information on infertility support groups she'd researched for me. She knew she couldn't help in the way those women could. I never went, but the very act of giving me those numbers did more to lift my soul than she will ever know. Now that's providing support. She's such a keeper.

I'm pretty sure I've covered this one. And if not, this meme should suffice.

Bottom line, it's okay to not know what to say. Listen, hug, and agree that it stinks. Even though my friends and family had nothing to compare this to or draw from, at the end of the day they could just hear me out and that made a big difference. I was always heard. And we all know I'm pretty loud.

"My sister's, friend's, cousin's, neighbor's State Farm agent adopted and then got pregnant! " Congrats to them - what a miracle! How exciting! What a blessing! Also I kind of hate them.

Please to see the rant three above where I explain that there are medical reasons why people can't conceive. It isn't all fairy dust and magic like we tell the kiddies. Suddenly having a baby doesn't make someone any less infertile, whether they conceived that child or adopted him.

And while we're here, just because Baby #1 was conceived complication free doesn't mean infertility can't strike on Baby #2 which is so important to keep in mind.

And brings me to the questions I'm getting all the time now.

I'm at a loss for how I am supposed to answer this question (without being nasty) so feel free to weigh in with ideas. Here we are, a year from Sam, his placenta barely dried in the ground (kidding) and this is my life right now. It baffles me.

Aside from the fact that it's none of your business (I'm working on the not being nasty part), people know about us. They know we can't have a baby and yet still they ask, like it's no big deal for us to make one. It's a big freaking deal with no guarantees. Family planning takes on a whole new meaning when that conversation involves bank rolls, doctors, medicine, and a teensy bit of insanity.

Again, just because I have a baby, a beautiful treasured boy, doesn't make me any less infertile. You might be curious if someone is going to expand their family, we're all curious, but let them bring it up to you. Let them talk about their family planning. It's theirs to discuss.

Rude answer: If I'd had it my way, Sam would be kid number 3. It didn't work out that way. Thanks for remembering.

We would love to have more kids. Is that going to happen? I don't know. But I guess I'll let you know since this seems to be important to you? Geesh.

Here's the thing. People choose to have a one kid family all the time - some by choice for medical reasons, financial reasons, or like us - this might be all we get. It's not the end of the world - we love our life - but people act like having an only-child is the worst option out there. It's not. It's just not.



I'm not trying to be mean today or take anything out on anyone (although it does kind of seem like that - ohhhh well). Take me with a grain of salt like you always do. I just want to raise awareness of the things we say to each other and maybe remind everyone that what we say or ask or suggest might not be taken as well as we're intending it. I've said the very same things I mention above to plenty of people before I was chosen to walk this mile along with them.

But now I know better.

happy infertility awareness week.

I had no idea that I had an awareness week. And I am THRILLED.
Happy National Infertility Awareness Week!

Friends. Romans. Countryblogman. Lend me your ears and let me ask you something: Where are freaking balloons? Why has no one sent flowers? People. An eCard would suffice at this point. I have an awareness week. I am suddenly very aware of myself.

You see, I was under the assumption that the day to celebrate my inability to procreate took place at the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, which as I'm sure you know, is September 8th and is a big dinner at McDonalds honoring Sam's IVF existence. It is definitely not a Catholic holiday. That's a lie. It definitely is a Catholic holiday and apparently has zero to do with me or Sam.

So imagine how delighted I was to find out that though I've lost my celebration day (insert emoji frowny face), I have gained a celebration week. Hot damn! I'm 'bout to go buy a lottery ticket.

Here's what I have to say about infertility: It sucks.
You can't do what humans are meant to do and that just sucks.
It just plain sucks. (I'm really weaving a tapestry of poetic verbiage, aren't I?)

You are warned that the week ahead will be a fair number of infertility posts while I celebrate my week of you being aware of me. I'm pretty sure that's the spirit of National Infertility Awareness Week.

Tonight. Just some facts.

We are 1 in 8. Odds are you know us and a few other friends struggling with infertility, whether you realize it or not. This is our reality for creating a family. It's not pretty, but the end result sure is.

[monday meals mashup] week five

This morning I wanted to share more of the reason I started posted our meal plan on the blog. It's either share this or watch the Katharine McPhee Hallmark movie that I am super sucked into.

Katharine is paused. Blogging it is.

I really do love meal planning. I can't live in a life where I don't know what I'm eating that night. I hate the feeling of having to run to the grocery store day after day to figure out what to have that night. I can't do it. I would rather sit down for 30 minutes Sunday night and make a game plan than worry about calling an audible everyday at 3 o'clock, but that's just me. And this blog is about me so neener neener neener.

I like the game of meal planning - the overlap of recipes to use all the groceries. Take last week: Chuck wanted hot dogs so that's why we ended up with Sloppy Joes at the end of the week - I put hot dogs in the Sloppy Joes, duh. And the buns for the Sloppy Joes are why we had pulled BBQ chicken sandwiches. It's a big eating puzzle. And I like it.

I really, really, really, like the savings. Our grocery bill is between $80-$100 each week. That's all our meals from sun up to sun down. Good food and good meals don't have to cost an arm and a leg. Chuck takes left overs to work, and Sam and I wing it each lunch. For us, it's insanely more moola if I don't have the week mapped out. Without a map, I can't guarantee Chuck's lunches for the week and I definitely can't make the meals overlap as well as I do when I see the whole picture.

Over the weekend, one of my besties was taking a shot at making her family a meal plan. Her biggest complaint/concern about meal planning is that whenever she plans for the week, inevitably something comes up and they end up away from home for a meal or two. Then those meals and that food goes to waste, which isn't exactly in the spirit of meal planning.

Here's how I combat this. Each week, I have one to two recipes that I call the "hold overs". They are the meals that, in a jam, could be held to the following week without any risk of throwing away ingredients. This week, it's Noddle Crack (yep, that's the name) and No Peek Chicken. If our week changes, I can shelve those meals to next week with no risk of food spoiling.

That's about all. Just wanted to share some thoughts.

And now to our week...

Monday: Black Bean Enchiladas - A fantastic recipe, such a gem. I add a shredded up rotisserie chicken to this vegetarian recipe. Here's why it's a wonder meal: It makes a ton and it's filling. For us, I make an 8x8 of enchiladas that will feed us for dinner and lunch, and then I freeze the left over "innerds" in two Tupperware. In case of emergency, these can be used as lunches for Chuck. It's his favorite emergency freezer lunch.

Tuesday: Red Wine Pot Roast - A new recipe. Fe left red wine here from Easter and my roast from two weeks ago was buy one, get one so this is basically a free meal. This recipe looks amazing (a Pinterest find, obviously), but the blog looks like a good read too. I feel like there are more winners to come from this blog.

Wednesday: Noodle Crack - uh huh. That's the name. Noodle Crack. We started making this in college. Just celebrated our 12th anniversary with this dinner. I think it's called Sour Cream Noodle Bake but it's crack it's so good. It's been Noodle Crack since 2003. Recipe is below.

Thursday: No Peek Chicken. I tried this No Peek recipe once before and loved it. It uses wild rice and cream of celery soup, so a little different than other No Peek recipes. I'm going for round 2.

Friday: Beef and Orange Stir Fry. One of the best Martha Stewart recipes I've ever found from my favorite cook book, Great Food Fast.

Saturday: I'm working and Chuck is working on the back yard. Really hoping Sam pulls his weight and comes up with something for Saturday.

Sunday: Slow Cooker Honey Garlic Chicken. I keep seeing this recipe pinned on Pinterest so it gets the shoulder shrug "why not" addition to the menu this week. We'll see what all the fuss is about...

Happy cooking!

Head on over to Ashley at Life on the Parsons Farm to see what she's cooking this week.

photo dump friday

Hello and welcome back to Photo Dump Friday.

Is this working for you? It's working for me.
Should I tell you the truth that this is just an easy excuse for me to get all my cell phone pics onto my computer each week? Poor man's back up software.

It was a good week around here. We really made up from Sam's unhealthy eating adventure last week. This week deodorant and a rectal thermometer. My goal is to prove that really, any idiot can be a parent. And I am nailing that goal.

I finally got around to making our April chalk board.

Sam immediately got around to destroying my April chalk board. I think the only way to survive motherhood is to sometimes admit you hate them. I "hated" him for this. And for chalk hands all over the place after it. I will now be putting my designs up higher. #neverforget

I sent this to PK this week.
He raised us with a few key life principles: you can marry more money in ten minutes than you can make in a life time, saying 'don't worry dad' means he should be very worried, and leases are usually a terrible financial idea. So I sent him this. Seems like a great deal to me. After a 36 month lease, you've paid a mere $395,000 for a Hyundai that you don't own. I want this deal.

Best baby selfie ever.

We had a "you eat it, you buy it" moment at the grocery store. Nothing screams classy mom like wiping off baby slobber so the checker can scan your items.

[insert baby pole dancing joke here]

"Oh hey Dad. Let me help you with that. I have a lot of irrigation experience. I do a lot of diaper plumbing. I got this."

He's mine. ALL MINE.

He's mine. ALL MINE.

Smirking is genetic.

Sam's first Western Washington pool day. It was 68 degrees outside. Skin up. Shirts off.

They have a gardener so I'm unclear why the rigorous training regimen.
I took Sam back to my old school and may have just handed him off to some wonderful 3rd graders and let them "handle it". They were thrilled. Sam was even more.

I love staying home EVERY SINGLE DAY that I wake up. I'm so grateful for this chance. I wouldn't trade this life I have now for the world.  But I miss my friends. EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Baby shaming: Someone ate deodorant.
Mom shaming: Someone wasn't watching their baby (but in her defense, Willie Geist and Matt Lauer and Carson Daly were all looking divine on the Today Show.)

Fe put lipstick on him.
I don't think it was appreciated.

Dang it. That lease deal ended. I always miss out on great opportunities.

Do you feel the need to vomit this morning? If so, read the above question. Chuck is studying for a test to get into an MBA program. This is a sample question from the practice book. Here are two not surprising facts:
1. Chuck got this problem correct.
2. I don't even know what the problem is asking.


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