2.18.2009 - happy anniversary blog.

Happy 5 Years of Dealing with Me and My Blog!

Holy amazeballs. We have made it to five years on The Blog. Five years, 570 posts, and somehow you are still reading this. You are my hero. Really, the congratulations on five years should go to you, regardless of how long you have read this thing. Any amount of reading it is impressive. Clearly, you have incredibly low literary standards.

How has it possibly been five years? I ask this because I am for sure still 25.

I started the blog five years ago today (2.18.2009) and wrote three posts rapid fire that night. The first was about the house, then about six week old Baby Lucy, and the last about Jack - who had recently swallowed a glass bead and $1,700 in surgery later, he was blog post #3.

None of these posts were anything special - circle of trust time: I can barely reread them. They don't even sound like me. You are free to go back and reread them if you feel like cringing, making ick noises, and wondering how you and I ever ended up in a relationship together. I reference back to your low literary standards. Sawreeaa to kind of pick on you today.

I think back then I had this preconceived idea of what blogging should look like and sound like, and none of that was me. I mean, there is not a hint of sarcasm, irreverence, or blatant disregard for humility in any of the first posts. It's terrible. Terrrrrrible.

I can't tell you where I think this blog will be in another five years or what I'll think of even this post five minutes from now, but I can tell you I'm glad I have this thing. For better or for worse, I'm happy I started it. I haven't been happy about having it every single day of these past five years, but the scale is definitely tipped in the "for better" side.

Because when all is said and done, regardless of what was read or what was commented on or what post was liked more than others, I have a pretty darn good record of our life since 2009 and that is something I treasure.

I decided for Post 571 that a picture walk down blog memory lane was in order. Please to enjoy some of the highlights (or lowlights, depending on how you view them) of the blog from the past five years.

And can I just say - before the pictures begin and maybe before you give up on this post altogether (don't blame you) - thanks. You've give me something to look forward to. A hobby, I guess. You've invited my life to be a part of yours and I thank you for that. Really truly, no puns, no goofing, just really honestly and truly. Thank you for being a part of our life these part five years.

February 2009, The World's Most Expensive Glass Bead: Like I said before, this was my third post, but uploaded on blog day 1. Oh kitten. He swallowed one of those glass beads that you put in flower vases and 36 hours later was in emergency surgery spending all our new furniture money on a blue bead recovery mission. He was worth it. I guess.

March 2009, It's Official: The first post where I found my voice and my voice is called "making fun of Chuck". That guy is a gold mine of blog posts. You literally can't make this stuff up. Who mounts a ship's wheel in their new house? The same guy that listed it under "any major remodels or additions to the home" when we refinanced our mortgage. Again. I cannot make him up.

April 2009, Sunday Shenanigans: I married him. He's wearing my pants. We have now been married double the amount of time we were when I took this picture. And that is proof that miracles exist.

August 2009, We Is Ghetto, Yes We Is: I still can't believe we....painted the house ourselves. You thought I was going to say dressed up our arborvitae. No, that I believe. The house painting. Never again. Never forget.  

December 2009, How I Got Locked in a Bathroom: This happened. That's all I want to say.

January 2010, The Winnings: I think this is the beauty of the blog. Because without the blog, how would I ever have explained that we spent 8 hours at an estate sale and Chuck bought a bunch of .... stuff.... at said estate sale because he fell in love with a prospector? That's the kind of story you need a blog to tell.

April 2010, Easter, Our Style: The first year of Fe's Easter Olympics. This is another example of needing a blog to tell a story. It just doesn't translate without.

June 2010, I Can Think of a Few Labels: Full disclosure, I had for sure forgotten this had happened. I want to go back and stay at this place so bad, only obviously I am bringing my own label gun with me. Like the title says, I can think of a few extra labels for this house.

July 2010, Total Communication (and Susie) Meltdown: Anyone else remember when we almost got divorced over a hike? I do.

October 2010, Because We are Totally Those People: Have you not turned your cat into a super hero yet? This was the background on my classroom computer for years - all hail Super Jack.

December 2010, Merry Christmas: The viral wonder.

February 2011, And I Thought Disneyland was the Happiest Place on Earth: ZOMG. The day we spent walking on the hallowed ground that was where the cinematic genius Twilight was filmed. Oh my. Big day is Susie history.

April 2011, It's a DIY Jungle Out There: Remember when Chuck built a kill room in our garage and went (slightly) overboard on painting our bathroom cabinets? Funny, because I wish I didn't.

June 2011, My Shoe Failure in DC. Naturally: I like to pretend Chuck isn't funny and that he drives me crazy, but the truth is, I love his humor something fierce and three years later this joke still makes me laugh. "See, this court is different because it comes with sausage, mushrooms, black olives, and green peppers." I said "Oh, is that the Supreme Court?" And that is what vacations are like with Chuck.
July 2011, My Thoughts on Eclipse, because You Care: What?! Ok so apparently Twilight was a big part of this blog. It's behind me now. I'm on to bigger and better things, like Teen Wolf.

November 2011, Someone Won a Major Award Yesterday: Fun fact - did you know this picture also went viral? It pops up all the time on those "Parenting Win" lists. You'll see it somewhere eventually...

July 2012, Why Hello New York (and Blog World): 1. This is my favorite picture I've ever taken - mostly I just wanted to see it again. 2. If we are being "real" with blog history then this post is important. This was a hard year to blog - note the gap even here from Nov. 2011 to July 2012. It was a rough, rough, rough time and it hurt so bad to blog. It hurt so bad to do anything. We went to New York on the heals of a very devastating second failed IVF cycle (our fourth total, but remember the first official two were canceled midway). Anyways, this was a break vacation between that cycle and the start of the final cycle we would do. It was a much needed timeout although we were still filling out paperwork on the Brooklyn Bridge and setting dates for the next cycle while on Ellis Island. Spoiler alert: It was worth it.

November 2012 Happy New Year: The 2nd happiest post I've ever made.

March 2013, Baby Lucas is Here: Have I mentioned enough how much I love them? Also, Lucas turns 1 in 12 days.

April 2013, This is What It's Come to: And this is Chuck's favorite picture ever taken. Ever. I'm only reposting it for him.

May 2013, Sam: And this is the happiest post I've ever made. Look how little that 11 pound chunk is? Ok so officially 10 lbs 15 oz but he literally peed on the way out. He was more than 11 on the inside.

Happy five years of our life.
Thank you again for sharing it with us. Really and truly.

so he does hate something.

FYI. Alert the masses. Sam hates something.

I'm not saying I actively seek out things that he might hate, but look, the kid is almost too happy go lucky. Not a whole lot scares him or makes him cry and sometimes it's a little perplexing.

Like when Chuck revved up the leaf blower right next to him. Did he cry? Nope. He was curious.
Dropping pots and pans on the ground. Nothing. Kept on playing.
Mom having a full on meltdown over a car seat. Meh. He had better things to do.

Today. Today, we found his kryptonite. Something that terrifies him, makes him cry and recoil in absolute horror.

A puppy.

Uh huh. A puppy. I know what you're thinking - how could we ever subject him to the terror of being in a room with a 12 week old French Bulldog? What kind of mother am I? Someone call CPS immediately. I let a puppy come within mere inches of him. (This is for sure how Sam would retell this story.)

It did not go well.

This was the initial meeting between Sam and Neville Longbottom.

Ask Neville and this was great. Sam tasted delicious and was soft/warm.
Ask Sam and Neville is the reason he will need therapy in a few years. Which is great since I was in the #1 spot for that one but it looks like Neville has taken over.

We tried again and it went like this:

And ended like this:

So. Let's review. I whipped up some graphics to help us better understand what Sam likes/tolerates verses what he doesn't like/scares him.

So that's likes everything.
Hates puppies.

Well, Jack for one is thrilled. He's spent 9 months whispering evil thoughts about dogs and puppies in Sam's ears and it must have worked. Sam is officially on Team Cat. 

sam's first mcvalentine's day

It was an absolutely banner evening here tonight.

Oh, sorry, first, Happy Valentine's Day.
Second, Happy Sam's First Allison Style Valentine's Day. Lucky boy. He was born into quite a family. (Pray for him)

I needn't remind you (since obviously you have my whole life history memorized) that Chuck and my first date - first official non-dining hall, just us date - was to McDonald's on Valentine's Day 2002.

We are fabulous and 12. Chuck hasn't aged and thank god white shimmer eye shadow went out. Not a good look for me. (I blogged the whole story here a few years ago)

We go to McDonald's every year for V-day because 1. It's easy. 2. It's easy. 3. It's easy.

We aren't big planners. We aren't lavish. Lavish is adding pies at the end of our value meals. Welcome to classy, Sam. Welcome.To.Classy.

Spoiler alert: Yes, Sam had McDonald's for dinner. I said Chuck and I wanted to be parents. I didn't say we were going to be good parents. Also, ps: judgy wudgy was a bear.

Sam came to McDonald's straight from a business meeting. So glad he could squeeze us in. What a gentleman (and a scholar).

Clearly, Sam was super impressed by the establishment and overwhelmed with the possibilities that lay inside (and yes, that is a fire place behind him. FINE DINING people.). This is hallowed childhood ground and he respected it perfectly. I was so proud. Absolutely busting.

This was Sam's first McDonald's meal. And also not his first McDonald's meal. Let's just say he's had a lot of McBreastMilk and McAmnioticFluid in the past.

But tonight. Tonight. He sampled for himself.

We explained that McNuggets come from McBirds, and we aren't quite sure where McBirds are from but definitely don't Google it. And definitely don't Google Image it.

French fries, as always, were a huge hit. And a vegetable. So we nailed that part of the meal.

We reasoned that the Fruit and Yogurt Parfait would probably be an adequate addition to his meal. He loved it. We tried it too and found out why he loved it. Basically, the Fruit and Yogurt Parfait is the baby equivalent to a McFurry. I would love to have a McFlurry for dinner. Sam is so awesome. His life. My dream.

And the coke.

Ahhh, the coke. Can you feel that healthy McDonald's Coke burn?

Clearly Sam can, and he's loving it. (Boda, ba, ba, baaaa.)

Ok. I feel like I need to stop here because I can feel you judging through your computer. "ZOMG, you gave a baby Coke." Yeah, and McDonald's Coke. Which is the best Coke known to man. I know, Sam's that lucky. Nothing is better than a McDonald's Coke. Like I said before, we are nailing this parenting thing. Such a lucky kid.

Look how happy it made him.

Why would I not give this to him?
Don't answer that. No. No. Don't answer that.

Look look look, the kid eats like a king around here. Organic. Whole food. Real food. Homemade food. A McNugget (or 3) on Valentine's Day isn't going to mean he can't read someday and that, my friends, is my professional opinion as an educator. Hashtag I'm a parent.

Let me just say that it was a fantastic dinner.
Because it was delicious, it was fun, and we had our boy to share it with.

so the picture pose is genetic?

I think we have all noticed by now that Sam has one picture look. Who knew that your go-to-photo pose was ingrained in you at birth?! And who knew that your picture pose is also genetic. I for one did not know this or  persmaps I would have been trying to cure Sam of The Susie Pose from the moment I brought him home from the hospital.

Everyone is clear on what I'm referencing right?

Photo essay time!!! YEAH!!!!



We have ONE LOOK. Mouth open. Super excited.
Zoolander has more versatility than we do.
We'll work on that.
Or not. Probably not.
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