Because I'm kind feeling like maybe I just need to scrap today and move right on into tomorrow.
If you have like half a sec, let me invite you to my pity party - I'm assuming you have half a second because you visited the blog which means you are obviously not performing brain surgery at this very moment.
Let's see. Today started at 5:45 am. Which, I really shouldn't complain about because that my friends was after Sam slept 10 peaceful hours during which he never needed me, did not start a riot in his crib and blissfully slept like a good little boy who loves his mother and values her sanity. Our other (cat)son also slept through the night and didn't disturb us once, and by that, of course, I mean we kicked his butt out of our room, said "SEE YA! HAVE A NICE NIGHT" and locked the door.
I was hoping we could keep the sleep party rolling after our morning eating, but Sam decided that's when this day should start. At 6:30, Chuck woke from his restful slumber and took young Samuel with him to get ready and let me sleep another hour. This is my favorite part of every morning.
Again, all great things. Today should have been fantastic.
OR as Chuck's leaving for work, I get woken up during the parenting hand off to Melt Down Child who is screaming about how tired he is and how much he wants a nap, until you actually put him down for said nap. Then, he's never wanted a nap less in his whole life.
Sometimes, I feel like I'm a counselor at the end of Intervention over here. "Samuel, are you willing to accept the napping help that is being offered to you today?"
Then when he refuses said help, I calmly talk to him about life choices and how I will not be one of those enabling Moms on that show because it always goes back to the mom.
Somehow - thank god - he was receptive to this life lecture this morning and went down for his nap on try two. I told him you have to hit rock bottom and want the help for yourself, otherwise, there's nothing I can do. He apparently hit napping rock bottom at 7:45 and was out like a light.
Fast forward and mid morning, we are playing downstairs. I decide it's shower time for mom (and only because we have people coming over for dinner, otherwise I feel like today would have been a sweatpants and "let me imitate the mom from What's Eating Gilbert Grape" kind of day). I pick Sam up off his play mat and.... the rest is kind of fuzzy.
Somehow, we fell and as I'm using my mom body as a human shield for my child I first land on the METAL laundry basket and then bounce into the TV unit. Aside from being choked from my mother clutches, Sam was ok.
I now have three punctures on my bu-hindle region from the laundry basket and the blood pouring out of my middle toe nail suggests that we may have seen the last of each other. We had a good run. That poor toe nail is hanging on by a bloody thread. It's been a few hours now and the swelling, color, and pain suggests that I may have also broken my toe in this graceful display that I'm only sad happened when no one else was around. I should have a Susie Monitor set up for Chuck to check in on me during the day. Apparently, I need it.
An hour or so later, Sam puked on me.
And then dumped squash in my lap.
And Jack peed on Sam's pajamas, fresh from the wash and they smell amazing now.
Then I stubbed my toe walking to Sam's room to put him down for a nap. He probably thought it was so sweet and motherly the way I squeezed him so tight in my arms, but really that was just the pain leaving my body.
I had to run to the grocery store for something and I went in squash covered leggings that have a hole in them. Flip flops since shoes hurt. A tank top with some vomit residue still on it. And a rain jacket. I have showered so my hair was did but I have no make up on.
Took a picture so you could see. And I did absolutely nothing to make them better. This is me today in all my glory. I feel like I had to take pictures to prove that I own a rain jacket and that I wore it, more than anything else.
I want my "I'm a Mom" badge to go with my outfit because let's just say I wasn't the only person at QFC looking like I did. I'm going to go grab my copy of "Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day" and just keep reminding myself that some days are just like this.
It's barely afternoon. At this point, I'm morbidly curious with how the rest of the day turns out. We'll be in touch.