So maybe we got a little bored last night after dinner and maybe we decided to swaddle me in a top sheet. Wipe the judgemental look off your face. You know you want to try it now.
Basically, the top sheet happened to find its way downstairs to be laundered and its journey to clean involved swaddling me. What? The road to how we got here is not paved with genius. Bored. Sheet. Adult swaddle. It's a pretty easy connect the dots/slippery slope. #typicalbehavior.
Anywhoo. Let's talk about Mother Chuck while I have you. Chuck is amazing at swaddling. You might think you are also pretty good at swaddling but you're not. Again, what? Right, so I've never seen you swaddle, but I can still say with total confidence that Chuck swaddles better than you do. He is the Rain Man of swaddling. Obviously, we all saw this coming. The cocktail for swaddling perfection is all there in Chuck: meticulous, able to follow directions, cool under fussing baby pressure. Read that list again and then ask yourself how well you think I swaddle (wink).
Sam was sleeping when the swaddling happened, so don't worry he didn't see this take place. Well, not until the very end but we'll get to that.
Here is the beginning of the swaddle:
I made sure to thrash around and fuss a little to make it feel authentic and real to Chuck. He said this really helped in his swaddling. I had a great time and also my mouth is non-small.
Chuck finished up the swaddle and I looked amazing.
It totally calmed me down. Except NOT. Guess who got super claustrophobic being swaddled on the floor? Hint: she has a giant mouth and it's me. I did not enjoy being swaddled.
It was about this time that Sam woke up from his nap and was ready to be fed, played with, entertained, etc. He is so needy and demanding and baby like. Obviously I couldn't hop up and tend to him and it was about this time that we decided he and I needed a "Swaddle Twins" picture together. Problem was he wasn't currently swaddled. So...that meant we needed to swaddle up the now wide awake, super hungry "I've never been fed before" baby. This went over well. The phrase "turd in a punch bowl" comes to mind.
He was mostly confused. He was wide awake and swaddling is a sleep routine. He had been perfectly content and swaddling is for soothing. He had plenty control of his arms and swaddling is when he loses arm privileges. His little baby mind just did not know what was going on. We are such good parents.
Don't worry, I birthed myself from my swaddle once we took this picture. Again, exploit first. Meet needs second.
That about does it. Adult swaddle. Pretty happy we did this.