my first mother's day.

It's my first Mother's Day.
I guess I already said that in the title so forgive me. Sawreea, but the night sweats are making me foggy.

Mother's Day has been such a bittersweet holiday the past years that it's almost surreal to be celebrating and loving today. To go from feeling like a mom -  doing everything in my power to bring my baby into the world - to actually being one is overwhelming.

Each year, Mother's Day was this horrible reminder of what I couldn't achieve, what I couldn't do. I'd dwell on this day and hate this day and let it get in my head something awful. Which I know I shouldn't have, but I did anyways. It is what it is.

Chuck always said - I've told you this before - that when I became a mom, it wouldn't matter how I got here or what had happened, just that I would be a mom and that's that. I hate it when he's right.

Sam's first breath via Amy Walton Photography
The moment Sam was born, it all washed away. All the hurt, the anger, the disappointment, it was gone. Like it had never been there before. And it suddenly didn't matter anymore how we had gotten to parenthood, to motherhood, we were here. I was finally a mom.

Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms out there.
For me, that includes human moms and pet moms and moms-to-be (those expecting, those dying to expect, those in treatment hoping to expect, and those expecting their baby via adoption).

Everything was worth it. Everything.

2 comments:

  1. Happy day to you! He's just fabulous, and it's wonderful to see how much love and happiness he's brought you! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for making me remember why I should love Mother's Day. That picture makes me weep inside, btw. Guess I need a photographer at my next birthing.

    ReplyDelete

Tell me about it. Oh and thanks for validating my life.

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