so i turned 30 yesterday.

R.I.P. Susie's 20s. 2003-2013.

Oh people. My twenties are no more. I'm moving into my thirties gracefully. And by gracefully I mean some light kicking and screaming and slight exaggeration of the dire straights I'm now in.

I've basically spent the last month, nope whole school year, complaining to my first graders about my looming thirty-dom. I've conveyed the devastation, the hurt, the loss I feel and they have been a great audience. Actually, they have been really reassuring with things like "Oh, my daycare lady is 39 and she's just fine." I love them so much especially when I hype up a non-issue like this.

Here is a birthday card I got from one of my lovelies yesterday. I slightly died when she gave it to me, along with 77 cents (which I will be tactfully returning).



The focus here is the line, "I know you are a little upset about turning 30! I think 30 will be an awesome age."

You know what, little one? I agree. I loved my twenties dearly - so many great life moments in my twenties - but let's be honest, with Big Boy on the way, 30 already feels pretty darn great.

See ya later twenties. I'm off to bigger and better things.

week 30: big boy.

We have made it to Week 30, and that is terrifying. We are so on the down hill stretch to this baby being sprinkled in fairy dust and carried from me gently. Is that not what happens in labor? Meh. I'll figure it all out eventually.

I can't believe how far Sam has come and how big he is getting - emphasis on big, but we'll get there. All in good time.

Not to beat a dead horse here, but I still can't believe where we are at and how close we are to meeting this little guy, and where this journey to Sam has taken us. Obviously, we all know what a miracle growing a human is, but actually getting to watch it happen has been bananas. And I mean really getting to see it happen from basically the very beginning.

We have literally been watching Sam grow since Day Five.
This is him as a Day 5 embryo, called a hatching blastocyst.



Can you believe this becomes a human? And said human is growing inside me?

And then we had a slew of early, early, early ultrasounds that are routine for IVF but definitely not routine if you are "normal", which we are so very not.



This is Sam at 6.5 weeks in his Rango phase. Apparently, he is a big Johnny Depp fan.



Evidently, Sam was not photogenic at Week 7.5.




And Week 8.5.
Chuck calls this series "Sam: Through the Ages".

Ok so then we got to ceremoniously leave the fertility clinic's protective custody for the real world of one or two ultrasounds and then the baby comes out. As scary as it was to leave our doctors for new ones, it was an amazing feeling to be treated like a "normal" pregnancy.

So we got the standard 10 week ultrasound and then the 20 week and figured the next time we'd see Sam, I would be in a bit of a bad way and Chuck would be handling the Susie meltdown he's been prepping for the last 12 years. Like a final meltdown exam.




But this week, we got a little IVF bonus gift. There is a very, very, very minute increase in the risk of heart defects in IVF babies so they do a later ultrasound to make sure everything is fine. This ultrasound caught us a tad off guard, and thusly was a little nerve wracking and there was some light hand wringing, but we (I) made it through.  And good news, Sam passed with flying colors AND we got one of those creepy 3D ultrasounds out of the deal.

Sorry if that offended you. But they are kind of creepy. However, as you would expect, Sam was adorable.

I can't believe that this:



 Is now this:


You want the definition of miracle? This is it.

(I love the fact that even before my kid is born I can blow you up with pictures of him. Just wait until I have him in hand. Good luck everybody.)

Here is the gem of information we found out with our 30 week ultrasound. Sam is measuring about three weeks or so ahead of schedule, is in the 97th percentile for weight and 93rd for length. He should weigh a little over 3 pounds at this point, but they are estimating him at about 4 1/2. Big boy. So about that May 10th due date. Anyone really think this kid still has 10 weeks left to cook?

I mean, I knew he was big and I knew I was going to have a big baby. The Fe had big babies, and Chuck was a tank at 10 1/2 pounds and 23 1/2 inches long. The doctor giggled at my 28 week appointment - always a comfort - and said she'd gestimate that I'm having a not so mini-Chuck. I did not appreciate actually seeing physical ultrasound measurements that confirmed this. Yikes.


When do we want to start taking bets on when Sam will join us? Or should we just stick to how big do you think he will be? Or rather, how much bigger can I get? I'm officially preggasaurus rex.

baby lucas is here.

Don't have a heart attack. Remember, I am having a Baby Sam, not a Baby Lucas. Baby Sam still has a supposed 10 weeks to cook, but we can talk more tomorrow about why the term "supposed" is being used. We have much more important things to discuss tonight.

BFF Jessica had her baby last night, and he is such a joy to our lives already.

I'll give you the Reader's Digest abbreviated version of his birth story, which started three weeks ago when Jess had her 37 week appointment and was already 1.5cm dilated and 80% effaced. Obviously, she sent out the BFF bat signal and us girls descended on her life to help get things done. This baby was coming any day now. We made an emergency trip to Target (that's the excuse we were using), built the organizer for the closet, washed the remaining baby clothes, and packed the hospital bag in the space of one very hectic night. This baby was coming soon and we had to get ready.

Or not.

Because here we are three weeks later and he was born 31 minutes shy of his actual due date. I think the kid is a genius. It's no secret in our friend world that Jessica is the most amazing procrastinator ever. No hyperbole. She is amazing at it. I think the kid did what needed to be done to make sure his Mom was ready for him. Coping mechanism from birth. I am already so in love with him.

Finally, labor officially started and in about 4 hours, Jess went from texting about how bored and anxious she was at 3cm (she'd been there for days) to 8cm, water broken, and sitting in the delivery room. Two hours of pushing later, and we had a Lucas.

And he is perfect.

We were all at the hospital when he was born - just before midnight and almost perfectly on time.

About 20 minutes after he was born, we made our way to the room, tears and champagne, to meet the newest addition to our group. Shocker, I may have taken a few (hundred) pictures. As in 300 or something by the time we left at 1 am. Don't judge me or my camera.

I'm just going to blow you up with pictures and you can deal. Most are from the hour after he was born and then some from today. Obviously, we had to go back for another look. How could we not? Look at this face.

Lucas Michael
7 lbs 10 oz, 20 1/2 inches
11:29 pm - March 2nd 2013











Michael's first moment of fatherhood.  


Grandma Iole holding Lucas for the first time.


The first photo of the new family. Table for 3 now. 



I went through all the pictures from last night and w as so struck by the little happiness bubble Jessica was in with her new little man. I get that she's a new Mom and so in love, but when you get to relive it on film, well..  She never really looked up from him, and I never bugged her to look at me because we both knew the important pictures were the candids. This was one of the last pictures I took. I didn't say a word and she just looked up and smiled with absolutely joy and contentment. I don't know that I will ever love a picture of her so much.
And then some from today.

Lucas with his Aunties aka The Best Friends a girl could ask for. I was watching The Mindy Project the other day - obviously- and she had a line on that show that I super identified with. "Best friend is not a single person, it's a tier." So she may not be a prophet or philosopher, but this quote rings beyond true in my life.  






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