apparently, we have different definitions.

I said yesterday I knew what I was posting today, and I'll be honest. This is probably the last thing I should blog. I've spent 24 hours trying to talk myself into blogging something else. Anything else.

Really, it's just an OK story, but I think the picture is pretty good.
Wow. I must have you super psyched about this post. What a set up. You must be so interested by now. I know I am...

Alright let's do this.

Last week, I'm earning my nightly bed sores on the couch watching god-knows-what on my DVR and obviously loving life. Angel cat was snuggling with me and we were having a time. At some point, I was rubbing my eyes and I guess I scratched my eyelid with a jagged fingernail. I believe I was doing some light nail nibbling pre the eye rubbing. Don't judge me.

My eye lid started to feel a little stingy and a lot of weird. Weird. It just felt weird. Weird enough for me to get my fat you-know-what off the couch to walk the excruciating 20 feet to the bathroom? Heck no. My show was on and it's not like I can pause that thing or rewind it...

Chuck comes home and I say "Does my eye look weird?"

Please to remember that micro conversation.

Chuck would later say the lighting was bad. He couldn't quite see. I say maybe his BS was in his eyes because no way. What I looked like could've been seen from space. No hyperbole.

I unglued myself from the bed.
Walked to the bathroom.
Looked in the mirror.
And died.

This is what I looked like.

Couple of things.
1. Don't let my beauty startle you.

Nope. Just that. I don't want to startle you. I'm worried about your heart. That picture is for sure SOOi (straight out of iPhone) and is the best picture of my life.

Why I am posting this picture - beyond me. I guess that's just me right now. Caution. Wind. You get it. If you fold back the swollen tufts of eyelid, there was about an inch long scratch running across my eyelid. Obviously, I wore glasses to school the next day. I didn't want to anger it.

What I truly love is the micro conversation in which Chuck said I looked completely normal and totally fine. Like I said in the title. Apparently, we have different definitions of normal.


Tell me about it. Oh and thanks for validating my life.

Related Posts with Thumbnails