this post starts out one way and ends another. fair warning.

Twins are fascinating. I could stare at a good set of twins for hours. Swear to Nordstrom.
But all things equal, I'm more of a fan of evil twins.

Please to let me explain: Isn't it amazing when you see a complete stranger walking down the street and they look exactly like your BFF (Claire's necklaces), except not. In our house, we call this an evil twin. We somehow find evil twins of everyone we know all the time. Sometimes halfers (that's half Jessica and half Emy), but they still count.

Confused? That's how I like you. Here's an example (aren't I the best teacher? So full of examples to better help your understanding of this difficult concept): Chuck and his friend found this poor girl in Montana and said it was Susie's Evil Twin (high school years, since I'm old - thanks guys, I'm a gunna poison your dinners).Then took cell phone pics of her to send back to me.

Now, I know it might be tough to look past Chuck here (wowmom, Chaz), but that's evil Susie (apparently, I don't really see it) over his shoulder. Poor thing.


[If we are getting real here, like reeeeaaalll, then the only evil twin I've ever seen where I was like, yup, that's me, was this:


Actually a blog reader - Rodger - sent this to me about a year ago. Now that's evil twin Susie - even though I think self evil twins are super hard to diagnose.]

Ok - so are we on the same page here? Do we understand what evil twins are?

Then, I submit for you, Jack's evil (fat) twin:


I know. He's amazing. His name is Koa and he is so Fat Jack.

Again: Jack. With a snaggle tooth.


Fat Jack. Also known as Koa.



I mean, it's uncanny and my new favorite thing. Fat Jack. Twice the Jack to love. I'm gonna start feeding Jack double.

********************
Ok. I feel bad. I feel like maybe I've made a little fun of my friend's beloved first born. So, I'll give you some pictures of her other perfect children. I went to their house to take some photos. They have a three week old, so we weren't going to step outside. But, I think we did just fine staying in.

XOXO - Steph! Love your family and your fat cat.







Last picture of Fat Jack. Promise.

something i really, really believe in.

It's hard to watch all those "occupy" movements and not want to get swept up in the hub-bub of it all.

So, I occupied. I'm part of the 99%.
I did this about a week ago - don't blame me, blame Thanksgiving that this post is a week late. Anyways. I did it.

I occupied Breaking Dawn.

(If you didn't see that coming, then really? You honestly think I'm gonna stand outside, tents, tarps, hair dryer-less for anything other than Twilight? And even for Twilight I didn't sit outside OR for that long.)

But I still occupied. Oh and maybe we're the 1% in this situation; I'm not sure if it's 99% for or against twilight. Meh. Doesn't matter to me.

I went with The Girls.
Obviously.
The ride up the escalator was intense.




Expectations, hopes, dreams - so much was high. So much was on the line. I think these expressions really tell the tale nicely.

We got to the theater a tad early.
By a tab I mean 90 minutes.

The line up area looked like this when we arrived:


That's empty. As in we were the first people in line for our showing and (interestingly enough) the showing before ours. What? We are nothing if not efficient, plus we are aging slightly and cannot afford to sit in the front row. We aren't 15 anymore. We haven't been 15 for like.....6 years.... or something like that.


We had the ticket guy take our picture.
We said please don't judge us for being here this early.
He said he wasn't, or wouldn't judge us, but the girls that showed up for the midnight showing in wedding dresses. Them. Them he judged.

We laid out our coats. Our purses. And pulled out the iPhones.
This is life now.




Dania also pulled out her Renee Zellweger impression. I think this came about because we were talking about how, yeah, we're fine with Bradley Cooper being Sexiest Man of the Year but he lost points dating scrunch face all those years ago. These are the things we find important. Also, judgy wudgy was a bear.

Ok. So finally after 90 minutes of iPhoning, the doors open.
We were admittedly speed walking, but not outrageously, until the tweens and teens behind us in line started screaming and sprinting. Sorry, but we did not wait in line that long to be trampled by people who were dropped off and/or have a curfew. Sawwwwrrreeeaa.

Also, I've never done the running of the bulls in Pamplona, but I don't need to now. I've lived through 50 or so screaming teens bearing down on you with Taylor Lautner's abs as their only motivation in life. It was terrifying. The five of us girls sprinting and out of breath into the theater....


Don't worry. We found it like this.
Empty. (kind of like Kristen Stewart's emotions)
We sat in the high middle, middle seats, and the rest is history.

The movie was fabulous. As they all are. Fabulous. Horrible. Fabulous.
So there you go. Occupy Breaking Dawn. Now that's my kind of movement.

it's kind of like finding a potato chip with the pope's face on it.

Story set up: I'm at Marshall's getting my shop on. I'm in line to check out (I totally scored, BTdub), I turn my head, and what to my wonderings eyes should appear....

But a Harvest elf (yep, HARVEST elf...not holiday, not Christmas, not Santa's) and that Harvest Elf looks exactly like my Mother.


You look at that face and you tell me that you do not see Fe.

Closer look? FE.


Still no?


Here. Ok, that's not actually a picture of the harvest elf; that photo may have been altered in photoshop. But still. Can you deny that that elf does not look like The Fe?

Yes I bought it. And I find it to be a Harvest Miracle (even though it's now officially Christmas time).

Harvest Fe Elf will be in a lot of our Holiday activities. She has to be. So now you have that to look forward to.

someone was topless at our thanksgiving.

I honestly believe that if I don't start blogging again, I'm going to lose friends. And not peripheral friends or facebook friend friends, but like actual bridesmaids-in-weddings, godmother to children type friends. And I really can't afford to lose them.
So.

I hosted Thanksgiving yesterday.
Shelley was supposed to just like last year, but plans sort of changed and now Shelley is hosting Festivus on Saturday (apparently she's got a lot of problems with us...) so I did Thanksgiving. In my family, that train of thought and change of plans is super normal. Super.

I thought I did a great job with my table scape.



Mostly because that's our new dining room table and if I could marry it, I would. It already has brought me so much more happiness than Chuck ever has and I've only had it 10 days. I've had Chuck for 10 years. Yikes.

I really thought my table scape set the mood for a lovely Thanksgiving.

And then Lucy showed up.
Topless.
So that ended the "lovely" thinking about 5 seconds into the evening.


Last year, it was a tuxedo. This year, a Native American. The move to this place is obvious in the Shelley Parenting Handbook.

So that costume was great and all and it lasted about 10 minutes.


Then she took off everything (yelled "OH YEAH!!!") and started jumping from footstools to couches. Side note: how much do you want to be a kid again and jump from hotel bed to hotel bed? I mean, isn't that basically what she's doing? Sometimes, I am super jealous of her life.


Then she wanted to drive the house (she's really into driving our house lately) and we all had to buckle up. Or she'd leave us behind.


Evidently, the only part of the house that moves when she's driving is the staircase so we were instructed to pile on. And of course we did that because she was naked, driving a house, and (though not pictured) wearing a pilgrim hat.


Also, this is a picture of Shelley and Chuck (duh). Shelley likes to take "couples pictures" with Chuck, usually after Chuck and I take a picture. Again, this might sound weird, but what's weirder is when we call ourselves Chuck's sister wives. Which is true. I'm his wife and that's my sister. So, Sister Wives. Is that not how that works? Ok.

Basically from there Thanksgiving kind of took a normal route.


Chuck and I took a picture together.


Mom wore a head dress.



Lucy watched TV like this.


Then took a book in with her to the bathroom (which she's also calling her "office" when she has "business" to attend to).


She ate my place cards while waiting for us to dish ourselves up (Jack was supervising and doing a terrible job.).


Shelley and I did this. (I think it should be reminded every time there is a picture of the two of us that, yes, we do have the same parents.)



Chuck and Lucy snuggled.


Lucy and I wore matching PJs. (yep, that just happened). This was taken at about 8 o'clock. She hadn't worn a stitch of clothing since 4:30. Also note my wicked awesome Thanksgiving chalkboard turkey.

And that's about it.
Thanksgiving was, per usual, fabulous. My friend Elizabeth said, and she's right, there aren't many ages when you're allowed to go topless at Thanksgiving, so we've got that to be thankful for... that Lucy is still baby enough to get away with these kind of shenanigans.

Happy Thanksgiving!

someone won a major award yesterday.

Guess who won a costume contest yesterday?

Thank you for thinking it was me, because yes, you're right, I was a fabulous (and humble) Snow White yesterday. I mean, my haircut lends itself to about, oh, ONE Halloween costume. And good thing I live in Seattle so my skin stays a lovely pasty white. I was made to be Snow White.

Anyhoo. I've digressed as per usual.

I didn't win a costume contest yesterday (in case that wasn't clear enough).

But she did.


Oh yeah. That's our little Hulk Hogan.

Congrats to Shelley for one heckuva Parenting Win coming up with this idea.

And just so ya know, when Lucy was given her first place gift certificate to "Chunky Cheese" (yep) she yelled "YEEAAAAH BROTHER" into the mic. She is so beyond amazing.
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