Ok so maybe sometimes I want to divorce him.
I mean, who wouldn't when he makes things like homemade maps? And he has so many other past offenses that really, it's not like I'm just jumping off the deep end here when I said I wanted out the other day.
The ships wheel. Which I'm sorry to say is still on our banister despite my best efforts. I've tried NUMEROUS times to take it down and I always end up yelled at. Not by Chuck. By everyone else. Namely, my girlfriends and Lucy - who even at 2 is already learning to side with Chuck.
The white pants incident of Ought-9. I don't need to go into much detail here.
And anytime he makes this face. I hate this face. It's so sappy and creepy. Plus he always does weird things like, oh I don't know, stand with a lighted candle and wait for me to walk by. He stands like this in the kitchen, for god knows how long and just waits for a reaction. I'm working sooooo hard on not giving him when.
But then sometimes he makes all the other things at least a little ok, tolerable and somewhat redeems himself.
We made calzones tonight - love of my life - and Chuck is in charge of folding the calzones and making the nice edges. Charles in Charge (of our baked Italians goods and our folding). Sing it with me.
Tonight, he went above and beyond and surprised me with a monogramed calzone - monograms made by carefully positioned pieces of grated cheese.
That is why we are perfect together.
He thinks of this crap.
And I think it's funny.
And that's our kind of love.
(Thank God we found each other when our ages still ended in teen because we never would've had a chance in the real world trying to date real people.)