basically, i failed today's lesson in self control.

There's about a million reasons why, typically, I get my groceries delivered to my house.

Mostly, it's because I'm amazingly lazy. Partly, it's because I think it's cool (it is, isn't it?). And then, there's the other reason that I forget every now-and-then, and when I forget this last reason, well, that's when I get into trouble.

That's what happened today.
I got cocky and I got complacent.

See, I don't really go to grocery stores. In case you forgot (no judgment, I don't remember what I had for breakfast), I get my groceries delivered by Amazon Fresh (posted about here). Every Monday morning, my groceries arrive on my doorstep at 6 am in little totes. I call it the grocery fairy because it is magical, I tell you. Magical.

Sometimes. SOME.TIMES. Once, blue moon, you know, I run out of time in the weekend to place my order online via the World Wide Interweb. In other words, I get so lazy that I'm too lazy to sit with a computer on my lap, watch Real Housewives of Pick A City, and type in food items that I'd like someone else to pick out for me, bag, and place on my doorstep. Really, not placing my grocery order is the epitome of laziness. I need like a Scarlet L embroidered on me.

Today was one such lazy day. Actually, in defense of my today, we ended up out with the in-laws and then (this is where I get cocky), I thought it might be fun to actually go to a real store and do real grocery shopping since I wouldn't have time to make my list, check it twice, and place my online order.

Cockiness is the downfall of all Susie-izations (it's like a civilization except run by Susie's).

This is why I don't go shopping in a grocery store.
I can't handle it. Literally, I cannot handle the pretty boxes and packaging and perfect goodness looming down each aisle. I want it all. I shop online because then I don't see Pop Tarts on an end cap and then those Pop Tarts don't end up coming home with me for breakfast parties this week.

This, plain and simple, is why I don't go grocery shopping.
I have literally no self control.

In addition to everything else on my grocery list, I came home and found that I'd also bought:

Potato Chips.
Pop Tarts.
Mac and Cheese.
Cheez-It.
Cans of Fruit (in lite syrup, seriously.)
Eggos.
2 boxes of fried treats that are divine.
And a Marie Calendar's Pie.

There was a partridge in a pear tree, but I already fried him and ate him before taking the picture.

Basically, I don't shop in a grocery store because I lack the most basic skills in self-control. I cannot be trusted in a grocery store. I cannot handle the pressure or responsibility. Chuck, on the other hand, was thrilled with today's haul and is already 50% of his way through said Cheez-It box.

Oh, and everybody, can we make a pact to please not show PK this post because I am pretty sure I will get a lecture similar to PK Lecture #4,621 titled: "Kool-Aid is not a breakfast juice", which I have received on multiple occasions. I just need this to stay relatively hush-hush for the time being.

K-thanks. 

4 comments:

  1. Ahh!!! You can't beat a Marie Calendars Razzleberry Pie..

    ReplyDelete
  2. You planning on carrying all of that over the bar????

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  3. This is by far one of my most favorite posts ever. I love it so much that I actually commented. xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  4. mmmm. i'm so hungry. can i come over for a snack?

    ReplyDelete

Tell me about it. Oh and thanks for validating my life.

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