this is an emergency

Dear Santa,

Emergency. I need to make a change to my Christmas list. I'm sorry for the short notice. I want this:

Apparently Scarlett is over it and, really, I don't mind second-hand gifts (you've seen my Good Will crock pot).

Please Santa. Hurry.


ps. I will also need a divorce if you can secure this as my Christmas gift. Sorry to ask for two items. I'm not trying to be greedy. I'm just trying to secure what should rightfully be mine.


  1. Ohhhh yeah I heard that on the radio today! can I be next in line if santa doesn't come through with that divorce - all I have to do is just kick a boyfriend and his cat out onto the mean streets of Bellevue!

  2. Sorry to break the news Sus, but I called Santa already and I left a voicemail telling him all the reasons I deserve Ryan under the tree this year - I gave a homeless man two dollars the other day, I've been his fan since Two Guys, A Girl, and a Pizza Place, I went to three different stores to buy his Sexiest Man Alive People magazine, and I've watched Wolverine for the first 10 minutes and last 10 minutes on more than one occasion, because those are the only scenes he's in. I think Santa will agree.

  3. omg. Cheryl, I've been his fan since Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place too. But... here is why santa is coming thru for me first... I quote van wilder on a daily basis, do not need said 'divorce', and since your move to N.C., I'm closer to his hometown of Vancouver to make this transition much, much easier. :)


Tell me about it. Oh and thanks for validating my life.

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