moonin got a fish. so did lucy.

Shelley and I had a disagreement over Lucy's Santa present this year. She wanted to get Lucy a fish from Santa; I said Santa gifts should be something Santa can make at his workshop. Since Santa isn't God, I felt living things should be excluded.

Chuck said I wasn't Lucy's Mom and could I give it a rest?


Lucy was set to get a fish from Santa.
The thinking was that Elmo has a fish (her name is Dorothy), so Lucy should have one to match. It was pretty solid logic considering Lucy thinks Elmo can do no wrong.

Shelley went to PetCo Christmas eve. She bought the food, the chlorine drops, the net. She bought a dinosaur themed tank (because why not?) and found a toy soldier in the clearance bin who was sans an arm. She decided it must have been bitten off by the dinosaurs so into the tank it went.

And she bought Dorothy.

She specified to the salesman that all she wanted was the most generic looking goldfish possible. Future planning in case Dorothy Number 1 goes to the great toilet in the sky sooner than expected. My sister is a genius.


Originally, Dorothy was hidden in the garage on Christmas Eve, but we decided it was too cold for her to sleep there, so Dorothy moved to the downstairs bathroom. The door was shut and Lucy only had about 15 minutes of awake left in her so we were fine. Emphasis on were.

Lucy was running the house wild after Christmas Eve dinner and then she went quiet. There's always the wonder of what they've gotten into when kids get too quiet. And she was quiet.

I went looking.
I found her.
She was locked in the bathroom. With what was supposed to be her Santa present Fish. Bummer.

I yelled for Shelley and once we persuaded Lucy to let us into the bathroom, we saw what had happened.

Lucy wasn't alone in the bathroom. Fe's cat Newman had pushed the door open and was sitting on the toilet wide eyed and bushy tailed, fixated on Dorothy. Newman had caused the problem. If Newman hadn't opened the door, Lucy would never have seen the fish. Newman!

Lucy was standing beside Newman and she was elated.
"MA!!!! Moonin got a fish!!!"

Oh, did Shelley and I die laughing.
Moonin (Newman) got a fish. And Lucy was so happy for Moonin. Pure joy. Moonin got a fish.
"Ma. Moonin got a fish and it's so pretty."

"No, Lucy. That fish isn't for Newman. It's for you. Where do you think the fish will live?"

"Bubba house."

"No, Lucy. Not Bubba's house."

"My house?"

"Yes, Lucy. This is Dorothy, just like Elmo has Dorothy. She's your fish. She'll go home with us."

I wish I could insert the squeels and "OH MY GOSH" (her favorite phrase) from almost 2 year old lips, but I can't recreate that in print. Just know it happened.

We moved Dorothy to the kitchen so Lucy could see her better and so we could supervise her seeing of Dorothy.

Absolutely taken by her.

"OH!" Lucy said. "I have to call Mommy and tell her."
Really? We all said. Because Mommy is standing right next to you.

"NO! I have to call her."

Fine. She called Mommy and told her about the fish. I'm pretty sure that since they were standing three feet apart and Shelley was on an '86 finger phone, that roaming charges don't apply. I could be wrong.

Then she dialed DadDad and MomMom and told them about the fish.

She hung up rather abruptly on MomMom and said she needed to call Bubba next.

Then she actually hit redial and called someone for reals and we took the phone.

It may not have gone exactly how Shelley and Santa had planned. But whatever. Because we had one happy girl in the end.

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