Susie, age 27

They're here. They're here. "Theeeeeyyy're Heeeeerree"!


School pictures.
Yup.
Just soak it up. The background. The smile.

It's pretty much feels amazing to be 27 and still get school picture packages. It's definitely in my Top 10 Reasons to Teach list. Somewhere around being able to legitimately cut in line, having and dressing up for spirit days, and being the center of attention for 7 hours to a captive audience of 18 - it's so perfect for Middle Child Me. It's a middle child's dream job.

I (not-so-secretly) actually love school pictures. 1. No one ever takes my picture, so it's a nice change. 2. It's a school picture, and they're free so why wouldn't I love that? 3. It's hilarious to give to friends with my name and age on the back (Susie, age 27). And I will do anything in the name of funny.

But school pictures this year, well, they became "blog-able". Why? Because, well, because they took the pictures as BODY SHOTS.
BODY SHOTS.

The other picture you saw?
That's one of the cropped versions (they gave me the sampler pack this year).


I got TWO versions with different backgrounds for my personal collection. The joy of digital cameras and interchangeable backgrounds. They've done wonders for school pictures.

But can we pause a sec and talk about this (or really, these) picture(s) for a second? I'll take the fact that you haven't "x'ed" out of this computer screen as a nonverbal "yes".

First, this is my favorite shirt. I love this shirt. But it looks terrible in this picture. Apparently, it does not photograph well. It's sloppy, but that's how I like my shirts so I didn't think twice about wearing it. I do not, however, like them to look like a box.


I am a rectangle with a head.

I also feel the hand placement + sloppy un-photogenic shirt = a pregnant looking Susie.

And since pigs haven't started flying around my window, I'm (oh I don't know) 150-million% sure that I am not pregnant despite the body shot school picture.

Also, the crop of this picture makes me look like Torso Woman, again at the fault of my beloved shirt. Because of it's length and how fabulous it looks with skinny jeans and the brown boots I stole from Shelley, we need the entire ensemble visible to make it work. Cutting off my legs thus showing NO jeans makes it look like the bottom of the shirt is my waste/belt line. I just went from 5'4" to 6'4" like that (add a 'snap' here for emphasis).

I can tell that you're probably worried at this point that this is all I have of my beloved school pictures. Actually, it's not, so stop worrying.


This came with the blue one in a 5x7 two pack.

Here's a four pack of 4x6s.


And the creme de la creme:

I have 36 wallets.

What I'm saying is, I have plenty to share.
An abundance of school pictures. It's basically a school picture miracle with body shot pictures included.

Go ahead and let me know where I can send yours for your wallet.
You know you want one.

5 comments:

  1. I had forgotten about the art of trading school pictures. Thank you for the refesher.

    UM.

    You're only 27?!?!?! Gawd you're young.

    (and pretty)

    ReplyDelete
  2. This post and the halloween post have made me decide that when I die I want to come back as a fly on your wall.....you guys are HILARIOUS!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I totally thought you were pregnant when I first glanced at that pic! Someday, right?

    ReplyDelete
  4. I miss school pics this year. I would send them out to special friends, too. :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. You are too funny! I love reading your posts! Remember the Gangsta Pranksta Pack from SMT all those years ago??!

    ReplyDelete

Tell me about it. Oh and thanks for validating my life.

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