why can't this be easy?

If you have nice pictures of your family, be grateful. Be thankful. Go buy a lotto ticket. Some of us aren't so lucky.

Some of us try so hard.
Some of us really want this to happen.
Some of us don't have much to work with so we're trying to compensate for issues outside our control.

I wanted a nice picture of us at Paul's wedding reception. We looked nice. We looked put together. We were faking classy very well. We tried what I'm sure you consider your "standard pose". As in, next to each other. Arms around. Happy couple.


Hell-ooooo from down there!
You may have noticed, if you have eyes, that Chuck is of freakish height. Conversely, I am of unfreakish height and hover somewhere between average and petite. I'm dainty. Incidentally, I also bruise like a peach.

We have about a thousand versions of this picture, a nice catalogue of Chuck's chest and face and my floating head. I may be horribly vain, but I'd like to be in some of the pictures. I wore a cute red dress for a reason, and darn it, I'd like to remember it.

My suggestion, after seeing this picture was to (as we do in most pictures) even out the playing field with some sort of height equalizer. I kid you not. Do you not stand on a stool in most of your pictures? Is that just me?

This suggestion I made, to try another pose (I really wanted a nice picture and to be in it, because, I'm sort of becoming the Dad at Disneyland here), was too much for Chuck.

And this is what I get.
I told Chuck this wasn't an acceptable pose, could he at least try and pretend to like me during pictures, maybe somehow reciprocate the love I'm showing him rather than leaning away from me like I have the plague with his arms super glued to his side? Could he please just stand normal?

And that...that line, right there: Could you please just stand normal?
That produced the following pictures, taken on rapid fire by Paul's Dad (who knew Chuck was running low on patience and motivation for my little project).

Fail.

Fail.

Fail.

Win.
Finally.
The entire ordeal took 10 minutes and years off our marriage for a picture that I don't know what I'll do with. And you can't even see my red dress in the picture.

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