total communication (and Susie) meltdown.

We had a little miscommunication around here yesterday.

Let me back it up a bit. Yesterday was Monday and Monday was the day after the 4th of July (I don't know when on the space-time continuum you're reading this so I'm trying to be as specific as possible to avoid confusion -- it's the life lesson I learned from yesterday). Most everyone had the day off and most everyone includes Chuck. Yeah for Chuck. He was super psyched about his extra day.

I was not actually that excited because having him home cut into my Summer Vacation Alone Time and since I only have like 60 of these days, I don't really like sharing. What? It's not that I don't want him home, it's just that him at home means there's someone around to judge my Summer Vacation Habits. He wouldn't actually judge me, I know that, but I would be judging myself. Having someone home watching you forces you to look at your life choices and think "Is waiting until 11 to shower really a solid decision and do malted balls in a bowl of milk count as breakfast?"

PLUS, and here's where we're going with this, Chuck likes to actually do things on his day off. I do not like to do things. That involves initiative and drive and motivation and leaving the couch/cleaning out my bedsores. I knew that him being home on Monday meant I would have to do some sort of real life activity.

Like go for a walk at the local State Park.
I know, you're appalled right? Doesn't he ask a lot of me? I mean the nerve.
[sarcasm people, sarcasm.]

I had delayed said walk for long enough, long enough to make a laundry list of errands that I just had to run a-sap, long enough to almost make it through the day without exerting any real effort. I was so close to success, I could taste it.

Silly me, because apparently I am as transparent as a Windexed window and Chuck was always a step ahead of my mind games, plus he reminded me that I had 59 other days to do my a.s.a.p. errands and really, couldn't they wait? He's good. He's really good.

We settled on an agreement, a compromise.
Since it was cold and crummy and totally Seattle outside, we would just do a small walk on a trail I'd mistakenly told Chuck was cool about a year ago. We'd do my errands together afterward and be home in time for the scent of indoor air to remain heavy on my skin.

I was out of game tactics.
I had lost.
We would go on said "quick walk".
[side note: Aren't I the biggest whiner EVER? I was voted Whale of a Whiner by my graduating class. Big stretch, huh?]

All I asked was that it be a walk, not a hike.
"Sure, sure. It's a half mile in, half mile out. I mapped it. Quick walk. No big deal."

Here's where we ran into problems.
I got out of the car in these:

My Sperry Top Siders from Nordstrom. Aren't they fabulous and the stuff dreams are made of?

Chuck got out of the car in these:

Hiking boots.

Now, we all know that I have been routinely found guilty of Bad Shoe Choices in the court of What Were You Thinking, but I specifically left the house and checked with the judge and jury about my selection. "Those'll be fine. It's just a quick walk."

Walk, not hike.
Remember that.

Where we parked, that was the next problem. Chuck picked the parking lot that guarenteed the shortest walk to The Big Tree (it's a 200 - 400 year old Douglas Fir, it's legit). Angel. He was looking out for my interest of "least amount of work" possible. But I know this park well. Once upon a high school, I was a long distance runner and I know this park better than my backyard. Isn't it amazing that someone who used to run for fun would be so opposed to going for a walk? Yeah, I don't really do that stuff anymore.

So back to me knowing this place like the back of my manicured hand:
I knew this wasn't the best place to park. I knew that this would be an almost entirely up hill journey that couldn't possibly be only 1/2 a mile. I knew that this would not be pretty, would not be easy, and would not be a walk. This would be a hike. Good luck top-siders.

I said maybe this isn't the best place to start.
I said this is going to be uphill.
Chuck assured me it would not.

I won.
Or lost. Whichever way you want to look at it.

It was a great walk for Chuck because, well, if I majored in Elementary Education then I minored in Martyrdom. I had a great attitude the entire walk. A great one. Chuck didn't mind too much though, because, remember, he minored in Susie Meltdowns.

So we hiked up the mountain, up to The Big Tree.
Here's a shot of where we ended up, for evidentiary support, after the first half mile. We're no where close to The Big Tree yet.

Way down there by the freeway is where we started.

Quick little walk. No big deal.
I wouldn't have been so mad, had I not be in jeans, a sweater, and top-siders thinking I was going on a quick lil'walk. Which wasn't a half mile in. It was about a mile each way and I was a gem for every step of it.

I told Chuck, calmly, that I didn't like hating him, but sometimes it's necessary to make sure he understands. He's still laughing. It's been 24 hours.

I also said that I was naming the HIKE "Chuck's passive agressive way of telling Susie he wants a divorce because why else would he do this to her?" and I got laughed at, again.

Little miscommunication.
We now have a better understanding of each other's definition for the words "hike" and "walk". We also agreed that regardless of "walk" or "hike", Sperry Top-Siders shouldn't go on these field trips and neither should Cute New American Eagle Sweater. We also agreed that maybe I could try having a better "attitude" about being outside and Chuck would learn to read distance/contour lines better on a map.

Oh well.
At least I got some pictures out of it. And it wasn't so bad spending some time in nature with Chuck.


  1. Okay. FUNNY.

    And also, super AWESOME pics. Fur reals. Missing Washington. No nature hear to speak of but grass. and ants. And armadillos. And those do not make pretty pictures.

  2. Oh my gosh. I meant here. Not hear. Ew.

  3. Stumbled across your blog in my internet travels and I relate all too well to this post! The exact same thing happened to me and my fiance a few months ago.. right down to the poor shoe choice (I wore my sparkly Toms from Nordstrom). I now refer to that "walk" as Death March 2012.


Tell me about it. Oh and thanks for validating my life.

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