This is exactly what Mendel was talking about.

Let's talk about genetics tonight, shall we?

We shall.

Some families have strong gene pools. You've seen them before. I'm sure of it. Where Mom and Daughter are one fanny pack away from being identical and you literally swear the brothers must be twins because no other explanation is possible. You know what I'm talking about, right? Tap your computer screen twice if the answer is yes.

Do you come from one of those families?

Because I would say I do not come from one of those families.


I mean, really? Do we look like a family or more like a collection of hair color samples for the new Loreal line?


And have you ever met sisters so clearly from the same gene pool?
(don't you love my long, stringy 2007 hair?)

Can you pick up on my sarcasm? I'm laying it on Jiff-peanut butter thick.

Chuck's family on the other hand. We'll call it Gene Pool Dominance, example numero uno.

It is startling to see Chuck, his Dad, and his uncles together. I find it painful because it makes my head spin. 6'4" 150 something x 4 = GENE POOL WHAT? (Sorry Mark, I'm playing Sesame Street on this picture. FYI: You are the thing that doesn't belong here).

In college, the first time Chuck's Dad came 'round, the dorm hall was a flutter with activity because it was like seeing Chuck's future and everyone wanted a glimpse. Sometimes, I think Ladd is magical because he must be Future Chuck sent to us from another time. At our wedding, Chuck's uncles were congratulated more than the Father of the Groom because no one really knew who was who and I couldn't blame them. "Who's Chuck's Dad?" "Tall, gray hair, skinny." That really narrows it down.

So here's the thing.
We got Life Insurance, you know, and we got the paper work back on the premium to pay. Guess who didn't qualify for the Super Preferred Cheap O'Rific Price because "weight to height ratio indicates health concerns"? I'll give you hint. It wasn't Jack.

Be honest: If I sent in this picture of his family do you think it would clear up the "malnourishment" concerns?

Because we are fighting a serious gene pool here and no amount of ding dongs, drum stick ice cream cones, or strawberry shortcake is going to fix it (all the following items have been consumed by El Skinny in the last 24 hours).

Gene pools.
Kinda makes me wonder about ol'2053. Crap shoot like my side? Or absolute certainty like Chuck's?

1 comment:

  1. My family is one of those that looks a lot a like. My brothers daughter looks so much like him, and him and I look so much alike, that people think my niece is mine!! Kinda funny.

    Also, my husband has the same problem as yours . . . he is 6'1" and 140 . . . skinny dude!

    ReplyDelete

Tell me about it. Oh and thanks for validating my life.

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