Write this down.

I want it on the record, near the record, above, below, and everywhere in-between the record. Got a pen? Paper? Good.

Chuck has gotten us life insurance policies.

All I'm saying is that if I die in any way short of a chariot coming to take me away, investigate. Because that guy is making a lot of money off me. A lot.

And really, would you trust this guy?

Really? Look at him. Behind the freakish level of pure kindness is evil. I haven't found it yet, but I'm sure it's there.

I mean, come on.
He fits in perfectly with the other husbands on Dateline Investigates. You know that guy, the one Stone Philips calmly describes and three words into the monologue you're thinking "Oh yeah, he did it." Don't you think that could be Chuck? I can't be alone on this.

Well. Now you know what's going on at the Allison house. I'd like to keep it that way. It'll help my case.

Oh and if you don't investigate my death then I will find a way to haunt you as long as haunting is permitted. It's on your soul now.

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Tell me about it. Oh and thanks for validating my life.

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