May is the new June.

Hi Summer.

Just an FYI that I am done with Spring and moving on with my life. Full steam into Summer I think it's better this way. I've drafted a Dear John letter for Spring to let it down gently because that's the kind of person I am.

We held opening Summer ceremonies over the weekend. Which basically consists of Chuck, Me, and the ritual making of our s'more sticks by bending coat hangers to the sweet sound of Boys of Summer. It's all very touching. Especially when Chuck releases the marshmallow doves. Jack cried, like, three times.

Obviously, the menu for opening ceremonies is simple: Hamburgers and s'mores. I think you can handle making s'mores on your own, so I'll clue you into my burger recipe because it is bomb. Bomb.

I'll give my beloved PW credit for the sauteed onions and the melted blue cheese. The rest, well, follow it and then send me a Thank You email. I can't even fake humility. These are so good. I have references that can back me on this.


Round up the gang and do a head count before moving on. I did not and I forgot to pull out the Tabasco. His fault, not mine. Nothing is ever my fault.
Grab the onions. Usually it's one normal sized onion, but mine are so wittle. And precious. I named them Eenie, Meenie, and Mine-e-Mo. I had to use three. Slice them into thin rounds without cutting off your finger. Thin is good, but not horse shoe.

Wear sunglasses if you can't handle the pressure.
Or man up.

We're about to saute them into submission.
It's about 3 tablespoons brown sugar and one tablespoon butter for the saute process. OR you can use the butter-sugar ratio as an outward representation of how your day went. The day I made these we upped it to a 1/4 cup of sugar and an unholy amount of butter. I've done worse.

Interesting fact: I have never had anyone complain about something having too much sugar or butter.
Begin the saute-ing process. Medium-low for about 20 minutes or so. Stir when you can. They are babies. Tend to their needs and they will tend to yours.
On an aside, Chuck isn't such a big fan of me leaving my cutting boards on the oven. I can't figure out why he's so touchy about me leaving them there.
Oh. That's why. I forgot.
Next, we will work with the meat and get it burger ready. I love mashing all the seasoning into the meat because I get to ditch The Rings and play "Susie: Single and Ready to Mingle". I am swingin', hott (with two t's), and a catch. It's pretty much the highlight of my nights.

Someone pray for me. Pray hard.
Here's what I put in with the hambooger: Pepper, seasoning salt, garlic powder, Worcestershire (which must be read phonetically for full effect), blue cheese, and Tabasco - who got his act together for this picture.

I hate to do this to you, but this has to be by taste. Be generous. My goal is always to take away as much of the icky meat taste as possible. The more the merrier. Sprinkle the blue cheese in last. Not a ton. Just a smidgen.
Make your patties. 1/3 pound burgers is best. Add another round of pepper to the top of the burgers for good measure and an extra step at eliminating the meat taste.
The onions looks like this by now.
Told you. Submission.
Burger cooking skillz are almost as important as the de-meat tasting part. Chuck's pretty specific. Set the grill to high and sear the patties for 1 minute a side. Grill them the rest of the time on medium for 4 minutes a side. Add the cheese when you have about 2 minutes left. I'm classy. I add blue cheese. Chuck has low class and adds American Cheese. From the plastic packet. He is 5.
Mayo the heck out of the toasted buns and put on a terrifying amount of onions.

And that is how we do burgers, my friend.

I encourage you to also put Spring to bed.
Summer is way better and Spring is so last April.

3 comments:

  1. I am going to try these this weekend. Yum! MIL

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am going to make them this weekend.Yum!! MIL

    ReplyDelete

Tell me about it. Oh and thanks for validating my life.

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