Easter, our style.

Naturally, this year's Easter egg hunting had to be separated into two affairs. One event for Lucy the 15 month old. One event for the adult-children who act like 15 month olds.

I'm sure your family has some sort of egg tradition.
You either have an inside or outside the house tradition.
Real eggs or plastic ones.
Money or candy.

I'm trying to remember when Easter took a turn for the interesting in our family, because we were raised very straight and narrow. Indoor hunt. Real eggs. Some light candy in baskets. Must have been late high school when everything went down hill and Fe started to get a little lively with the Easter festivities.

The original change was to numbered eggs. Fe would put a number on the bottom of each egg, PK would hide them, and it was a full-contact hunt to get them. Because some of us (cough, Shelley) sucked at finding eggs during their childhood, it was always a specific amount to be found by each. Everybody gets 12. So, everybody find 12 and then spend the next hour helping Shelley find her 12.

You'd get your pile. And then Fe would take out "The List". The list had every egg number (1 to whatever she felt like boiling) and each egg number corresponded to a money amount. Add 50 cents. Minus 10 cents. Double everything. Lose half. All you had was a prayer and a lucky Easter Bunny foot that you found all the doubles and none of the halfers and definitely a lot more pluses than minuses. There have been several Easters where Shelley and I have owed money at the end. And Fe makes you pay debts. I paid her $1.12 in pennies to participate in an Easter egg hunt when I was 20.

Some time ago, she started adding activities into the egg numbers. Instead of add $1 dollar, you got a skip around the deck holding the cat. Shelley still has scratch marks. My Mom would never say she is an innately creative person, but Easter really makes her sing. It's like she stores up for the year and releases a fury of creativity all over us.

She decided this year needed to be taken up a notch.
We were warned.
And Dad apologized when they got to our house.
Never a good sign.

She laid out the rules like this was normal and like there was nothing to be worried about. Once I saw the twinkle in her little Fe eye, I knew, this was going nowhere good. And it was going there in a hurry.

Look how excited she is to read the rules? Would you trust this little buzz head?
The Rules:
11 solid color or smiley face eggs each.
One egg with your name on it.
Unlimited number of "animal eggs".

The past two Easters, I've gotten my butt kicked on the egg hunting. By Shelley. SHELLEY. I swear to you, she is practicing at home. Somehow, and I truly believe this, she has taken egg hunting classes and practices on weekends. I wouldn't be surprised if she was in an intramural egg league.

She tore my house apart like an animal. The intensity. The speed. It was awe inspiring.

I found 11 solids and the egg that said Sister.
I found no animal eggs. Those had to be gifted to me at the end. Ah. The end. A simpler time before we knew what the animal eggs meant. What they were. How they would change our lives forever.

Can we stop for a quick second? I need to give PK some credit. PK gets the credit for the pictures. It's usually me, but it seemed important to have an outside shooter so I could really be in the game. PK is swell.

After I had been gifted my pity eggs, we were allowed to open the solid color, smiley face, and egg with our name eggs. Each egg had $1. Name eggs had a $5 spot. Lucy helped me, because she's a doll and that's what dolls do.

Then I made it rain.

And then, Fe said it was time to start opening the animal eggs. We found out that each animal egg had a twin. You had a cow. Your neighbor had a cow egg, too. We only opened them one animal at a time so we couldn't see the next thing coming.

This is Chuck reading the note inside his cow egg.
This is Chuck realizing that the note indicates that in order to "win more money" he must toe-wrestle the person with the other cow egg.
This is Chuck realizing he will be toe-wresting his sister-in-law for $2.

Game on.
Lucy was down to join too.
Shelley won. I wasn't surprised. She's a fighter and when she was 5 she tried to pull her own non-loose teeth for a $1 from the tooth fairy. She's got the fire inside of her.

We all had a pig egg.
We would all play game two.
Fe said we needed to take our sweaters off to play the next "game" and I knew this wasn't going to be pretty.

Especially because under my sweater was a black tank to match my black leggings. I should try out for Julliard in this get up. I'm so serious about my dance.

The pig egg note was small. One sentence.
"How does the little piggy eat?"

You know that movie The Christmas Story?
Fe does.
Maybe too well.

Game number two was a no-hands pudding eat off. Yep. And we thought the toe-wrestling was out there. Tip of the Fe Iceberg.

Shelley won $3 for this one and I was impressed. Also, I love this picture because I love how hysterical Fe is in the background. So proud of herself.

The next eggs were bunny eggs and us Allisons each had one.
Chubby Bunny.

I'm pretty sure Fe had just hoped and fingers crossed prayed that I would get the bunny egg, because who doesn't want to see how many marshmallows can fit in my giant mouth? There aren't a lot of things I'm naturally good at, but Chubby Bunny. God given talent.

Chuck conceded before a marshmallow even crossed the teeth threshold.
Dad said it was like boys trying to play with men.
Dad called a stop to this game when I had 45 mini marshmallows and hadn't even begun to stuff the middle of my mouth. Believe me, these toddler cheeks of mine can hold hundreds. BTDub, I think this picture of me is terrifying, but necessary to the plot.
Winner, winner, chicken dinner. This mouth is epic. I got $3 for this win.

Final egg. Shelley had it. It was a chicken egg. Fe said she had to select an opponent before hearing the game. Tricky little scheme you tried pulling here, Fe, but Shelley knew exactly who to choose.


Fe did not see it coming. But it was about time she got pulled into the rabbit hole that she had sent us all down.
Game Four: Around the yard with a raw egg on a spoon.

Shelley brought her A-game.

These two make me so happy.

Shelley defines "going for it".

She did a touchdown dance around her mother.

Since neither of the eggs broke (Easter miracle), we decided to play egg toss.
Fe vs. Shelley.
Chuck vs. Susie.

Shelley beat Fe, but they made it a good distance.

I lost to Chuck, but I would like it noted that we made it 3/4 across the street and I was playing one handed and with baby.

Shelley won another $2.
You'd think she was the big winner for today. I mean, she easily won the hunt and took down 3 out of 4 games. But this one goes to Fe.

Because that lady does an Easter egg hunt right.
I'm willing to rent her out for Easter parties.
She's a hoot.

1 comment:

Tell me about it. Oh and thanks for validating my life.

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