Ski Night

Yeah. No. Like I would actually be a skier. Oh no, I understand, you just love everything about skiing. You can't possibly understand how someone could be both religiously and morally opposed to it (okay that may be a tad bit of hyperbole, but when has that ever stopped me?).

So I'll let you into my line of thinking. Open the door and invite you into this brain of mine. I know, terrifying, right? Settle in sweetheart because logic just went out the window. You're in the rabbit hole of Susie's brain. Buckle up.

We'll start with a few facts:
-I have never gone skiing. Ever. Ever. Ever. Ever.

Actually that wasn't too bad. You just needed one fact.

I'll base my argument off of a few key points: fun. temperature. claustrophobia. reverence. And just remember what I said of logic.

Fun. Basically - it doesn't look like any. I've done enough sledding, tubing, and snow shoeing (oh that's a story for a rainy day -- 3 weeks into dating. We shouldn't be married.). I see nothing going on on that mountain that falls under any, even loose, definition of Susie's idea of fun. Falling. Not fun. Soar legs. Not fun. Barreling down a mountain with my Scream face on. Not fun.

Temperature. Biggest pet peeve: Being simultaneously hot and cold at the same time. Gross. It makes me nauseous watching people ski and seeing their huffy exercise breaths and cold faces. WTNewman. Pick a body temp. Maybe it's because I can't regulate mine and I live in a world with a .2 degree difference between Jack Dawson bobbing in the Atlantic and the surface of the Sun.

Claustrophia. This is Chuck's favorite reason. I find the boots, the bindings, claustrophobic. I live in a world where I need to have the option of running away at a moment's notice. I feel the boots would constrict and compromise my ability to avoid "the chase". Not sure what I'm running from or why I need to be able to bust out of a place, but the compulsive need is real. And I'm sure you are so sad for my life right about now.

Reverence. People don't respect water enough. They don't. People. This thing is a killer. That's why I've chosen to respect water in all it's forms. Solid or otherwise.

Bottom line: It's not gonna happen, people. This is a mind that is soundly made up, and solidified its position at Mini Mountain Indoor Ski School 15 years ago. What went on there will never be spoken of. But it was terrifying, life changing, and PK still has 9 of 10 lessons on credit.

So, we went skiing on Monday. Terms, loose, understandably. I trucked up there with the gang:

See. Gang.
And my kind of skiing:

Me and Twilight had a second date. And I massacred a pack of licorice. It didn't even see it coming.

That's really all I wanted to show you and tell you. I don't like skiing, so I wore a cute outfit and matching arm warmers, and I read instead. I can be a little long winded sometimes, can't I?

Deal.

2 comments:

  1. I totally would've read twilight with you in the lodge, with my own arm warmers.

    coldlibby+wetlibby=grouchy grouchy libby

    ReplyDelete
  2. ahahahah. I was wondering where you were going with claustrophobia. Also, Jack Dawson reference FTW.

    ReplyDelete

Tell me about it. Oh and thanks for validating my life.

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