Story of My Life

An injustice is happening in my life right now. Naturally, I'd like to share it with you because I'm in desperate need of validation, attention, and sympathy. And because I'm a middle child.

We all have stockings at Fe's house. I'm sure you're shocked by this. What a rare tradition. Good post, Suz. Just bare with me through the facts. Fe has lovingly made them and, added over the years stockings for the non-originals. She's a peach. And now we have Lucy. So, of course, Fe spent last week making a stocking for Lu.

I have long suspected my place in the family "love line up" (as in "order us by how much Fe loves us"). The stockings have only confirmed this. Let us begin with my evidence.

Exhibit A: My stocking doesn't even face the right way.
Exhibits B & C: My stocking is literally falling apart. There had been two buttons. Now, we're grasping at one. My wreath is sad.

Exhibits D: Holla at the detail on Chuck's hanger-thingy-part. The ornate overlays. Good grief Fe. The effort that took verses attaching two buttons (and poorly, I might add, since they barely lasted 26 years).

Exhibit E: I have 4 items on my stocking. Chuck has 9. And I simply don't have time to count all the flair on Lucy's. Fe claims this is because they now have "stickable" "scrapbooking decals" and it's "easier" than sewing . Lame. I've been in this family for 26 years. Chuck's pulled in 8, only 4 legally, and still, Fe loves Chuck more than Me and Lucy the most (by far, no contest).

The only saving grace in the great stocking injustice of "Ought Nine" is that both Lucy and Chuck happen to also be my favorites (in Fe's same order, for those keeping score).

She is also the cutest, bestest babe ever.

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