Oh Fudge.

I am not a baker. I cook. From recipes. My siblings are incredible bakers. No one makes a pie like Eric and Shelley's cookies are softer than Lucy's bum. I did not get this gene. I can make macaroni and cheese, tuna casserole, and sloppy joes. I cannot make a double layer chocolate cake from scratch. I know my limitations. I work from within them.

But I make the best fudge on earth. I wish I was kidding, but humility ain't a part of this recipe. Probably because the recipe is so ridiculous, laughable really. I might as well have pride with my complete shame.

Because I have my new lens and I love my new lens. Really, really, wanna marry it, play MASH all day together, love it -- I decided to make this a photo story. I'm the pioneer woman of Klahanie.


The lineup for this little gem.

And here's the recipe:

Oh yes. That's the back of the marshmallow cream. Let it sink in. This is the greatest recipe ever and you will care to stop laughing. Make this and then try and laugh.

What I love most about this recipe is that it makes sense. How do you make good fudge? How about a saucepan full of sugar, a stick and a half of butter, and some evaporated milk? My guess is, PK will not be thrilled with this. It isn't raw or organic, but it has to be better than my Kool-aid. Has to be.

You will also need this.

Because you will be stirring for an ungodly amount of time. Not just stir here, stir there. You will stir like your life (and by life, I mean fudge) depends on it.

So happy about my stirring. SO HAPPY.

Once it gets to a rolling boil (that's a boil you can't kill by stirring), you get to stir some more! YEAH STIRRING!

You add the marshmallow cream (don't worry PK. I'm pretty sure it's free range mallow) and the chocolate. It melts somewhere between instantly and....instantly.

Pour into a pan.

Find a helper to clean the bowl.

The End. No raw egg. No mixer. Momma Fe raised me right.

********
The SUPER SECRET, SO HARD recipe
That is on the back of a marshmallow cream jar.

3 cups sugar
3/4 cup butter
5 oz evaporated milk
12 squares of Baker's semi-sweet chocolate squares
1 jar JET PUFFED MARSHMALLOW CREAM (how could this not be good?)
1 tsp. vanilla
You can ruin this by adding nuts, if you feel it's necessary.

Grease a 9x13 with butter.
Place sugar, butter, and milk in a medium saucepan. Stir for eternity over medium heat. If you stop, you lose. It's just that simple. Once it hits a rolling boil, stir it into submission for another 4 minutes. Remove from the heat. Add the mallow, the chocolate, and the vanilla. If you decide to add those god-awful nuts, ruin your fudge at this point too (wouldn't it be nice if someday I could really say what I feel and not be so wishy,washy?? huh??). Pour into a pan, cool 4 hours on the counter.

Done and done.

2 comments:

  1. I almost ignored this because I assumed you were going to be one of those people who add nuts. Thank you for omitting. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. You've given away my secret! I use this recipe every year and people think I am a fudge-genius. Since i don't really cook that much (or at all), this was one of my only claims to cooking fame. :) Here's a fun tip -- do half chocolate and half flavored chips (mint, butterscotch, peanut butter, etc. - whatever you like). Double the nummy!

    ReplyDelete

Tell me about it. Oh and thanks for validating my life.

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