Total de-friending.

I've been struggling lately with the loyalty of a few of my friends. I defriended a couple here. And a couple more there. This week's de-friending goes to Dania for her relentless support of the Ship's Wheel and disrespect for our friendship.

Back in July, Dania and her husband, Jeff, stayed with Chuck and Me for a few days. I was excited. I probably should have known better. Dania's husband surprised us all with a Pirate Costume and took command of our house boat. It was pathetically clever. Emphasis on pathetic.

We just got back from their place (they served as the B and B for Emy's birthday blowout) and Dania and Jeff have been crossed off the Christmas list. I should have known something was up when, out of 12 house guests, Chuck and I were just handed the one guest room.

First, there were the Pirate magnets -- some hand colored by Jeff and Dania, and some "pre-finished" magnets, which means they bought multiple sets. A bit excessive, but not surprising.


Then, we found our goody bags.


And action figures.


Oh, and a treasure map just-in-case, which Dania drew. Then spray painted with multiple shades of brown. Then drug through the mud. Then burnt the edges of. Are you getting a sense that Dania's middle name is "overkill"? You should be.

It was at about this time that, on the tour of our now tainted guest room, that I knew Dania and I were over. Seven years down the drain. What a waste. But it was kind of funny. Ha Ha. Joke's over.

But that's not how Dania works. Dania believes that if a joke was funny the first time, then it will be funny the one hundredth time. Overkill is the name of her game. She likes to beat helpless jokes merciless. She's that girl.

Hence, I wasn't even the least bit surprised to see the raft her and Jeff selected for our 18 hour river float. Ok so it was a 4 hour float, but really we'll get to that tomorrow.


There's no better picture (my point and shoot's battery died and I died a little inside too), but you get the idea. Black Dog, the Pirate ship. Sword. Attached squirt gun. Crow's nest. And....detachable ship's wheel.

Just remember Dania, you have now run a terrible risk with all the joking. I may have the "Nautical House" but you are dangerously close to being "The Pirate Ship." May God have mercy on your soul.

Watch your back.

1 comment:

  1. Jealous at my creativity? Whatevs, I'm just so happy that I have my own post!

    ReplyDelete

Tell me about it. Oh and thanks for validating my life.

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