Driving Miss Crazy

Garage Sales bring out the best in people. Nope...that's not right. Garage Sales bring out the weirdest in people and the weirdest OF people. Our neighborhood had a giant garage sale this week, coordinated all the way around the 'hood. Let me tell you, it brought the crazies out of the wood work. Chuck and I aren't big into Garage Sales (we don't have the gift), but we are big into people watching.

So we were out the door before 9 for four hours of people watching. You may say "over kill", we say "not nearly enough." By 10 a.m. we realized we'd made a terrible mistake. We'd left my camera at home. We went back for it, naturally.

Basic driving skills were the best for people watching. Why we didn't bring popcorn with us is beyond me. See, driving is a quite the concept for these "Garage Sale-rs". Actually, they turn it into an art form, and maybe Chuck and I just aren't cool enough for them. We took notes. Here's what we learned from The Crazies.

DO bring your own moving van. These ladies owned this thing (complete with stuffed animals on the dashboard, obviously) and they weren't afraid to use it. It was rusty and beautiful. I watched them buy an IKEA cabinet and two 18 inch metal acorns in 30 seconds.
DON'T turn your car off -- it wastes precious time. Just put it in park and head for the crap. Your car will be there when you return, because you're that special.
DO find the premium parking spots, even if that means parallel parking and bumping the car in front of you. Walking from three driveways down would be much worse. Look closely -- these two are actually touching. Loved it.
DON'T follow those pesky traffic laws. Dear Crazy in White Car, We're sorry we were in your way by driving down the street, which you were using as a parking lot. No joke, this lady was running back to her car (parked in the middle of 37th Street) when she saw us shockingly pull up behind her. Her purchases are nestled safely in her arms. Don't worry.DO block driveways. No one minds. No one uses those things anyways and you're that important.

God I love Garage Sales.

2 comments:

  1. Omg! this is hullarious. I totally leave my car running. I will occationally block off someone's driveway. Did you read my post about the crazy asian lady at goodwill in bellevue?

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  2. What is even funnier is that this is all TOTALLY 100% true. Our old neighborhood had big garage sales too and it was insane. People would show up an hour early too and just stand by our garage. And if I had something marked 15 cents they'd ask for it for 10 cents. CRAZIES!

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Tell me about it. Oh and thanks for validating my life.

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