It's Official!

I have a ship's wheel mounted on my staircase. Don't be too jealous, now, remember --they're all over eBay!! Go buy your own. Or better yet, come buy mine.

Having the ship's wheel available to pretend drive the house when company came over wasn't doing it for Chuck. Oh no, my anal retentive, let's-go-too-far-with-a-joke husband has spent the last week fashioning a removable mounting system to allow for perfect sailing. Just imagine all the things he could have gotten done around the house, then try to still love him. Welcome to my life.

Chuck tends to be a tad detail oriented. Actually, change that last sentence. Remove tad, insert obnoxiously. Chuck tends to be obnoxiously detail oriented. Allow me to provide you with the details of how said "wheel mount" was created.

Step One: Cut a whole in the box.
Wait...sorry, wrong directions. Here you go:

First, Chuck bought the initial supplies. I say initial because there were numerous trips to both Lowe's and Home Depot for this project. It was a team effort. For wood, Chuck choose oak so that it would perfectly match the banister. Well, thank God, because if it had been cedar or pine, I would have DIED of embarrassment. Along with the oak was the matching stain. Remember, obnoxiously detailed oriented.

Naturally, Chuck then had to perfectly chisel each board. Yes, he has a chisel. Try and imagine how many trips he made running up and down the stairs to make sure that he was chiseling the exact amount and at the exact banister angle. Do you have your number? Double it.

A series of supplies followed -- I've noted which part of Chuck's personality are evidenced in each piece:
- An anti-slip mat which goes under the wood block to protect the banister (anal).

- A dowel to allow the wheel to spin for a more authentic sailing experience (too far).

-E-clips to hold said dowel and wheel together which involved more chiseling but I'll spare you the details (anal).

-Cleats and rope (too far).

Let's talk for a second about that final supply, for which Chuck is most proud: the cleats and rope. Although Chuck was disappointed that I didn't want the ship's wheel to be permanently fixed to the staircase, he understood that it needed to be removable. Bless his heart. He chose the cleats for a nautical feel thus enhancing your sail around Klahanie. He's a bit upset that it appears the wheel is tied on slightly off centered (anal), but he's willing to work with it. He loves the cleats. He was giddy when he bought them. Giddy, I tell you.

So, there you have it. It's official: I have a ship's wheel mounted in my living room. Can you now consider our residence a House Boat? Anyone? Just curious.

Oh, you know what? I have to go. Chuck's spotted land off the starboard bow.

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