sam's birth pics. it's a lot.

I realize this is starting to turn into a Mommy blog.

In my defense, I have yet to "review" a baby item and tell you why it's the best AND, also, this blog has always been about what is going on at the Allison house. What's going on right now is baby. Eventually the excitement of our new toy will wear off (nope. never.) and we can go back to antics. OR, better yet, we've just created an accomplice to our antics. Win win win.

I decided early in the pregnancy that I didn't want to do a maternity photoshoot, which is funny since I do maternity photoshoots and love taking them. But for us, it didn't feel right.  Also, I had a pretty massive double chin in my pregnancy and funny enough, I didn't need that memory captured professionally.

What I wanted was pictures of Sam coming into the world. Photos of the new edition fresh out from lock up and of family and friends meeting baby for the first time. I would love to take these pictures for myself but apparently, I was going to be busy. Turns out, that was true and I was a tad busy at Sam's birth.

So we hired Amy Walton.

Amy is amazing. I met Amy sometime in late high school, early college and have watched her photography career start (she had a mere point and shoot at my wedding) to becoming one of the premier wedding photographers in the Seattle area (she did Emy's wedding). I knew if I was going to have someone join us for this uber intimate time, it was Amy or bust.

Thank God timing worked out and Amy was able to come photograph the event.

I will cherish and treasure the memories of Sam's birth, and have the pictures to help fill me in on some of the gaps. Once Amy left, my Dad did an amazing job continuing to take pictures - he knew how important it was to me. I'll make note in the massive on slot of pictures when we switch from Amy to PK.

I apologize, as always when I do this, for the massive dump of pictures. Obviously, I don't actually feel bad, it's more of a "sawreea" than a sorry, but still.

Sam's Birth.

 

 

 

 

And now PK will finish it up.

Best.Day.Ever.

my first mother's day.

It's my first Mother's Day.
I guess I already said that in the title so forgive me. Sawreea, but the night sweats are making me foggy.

Mother's Day has been such a bittersweet holiday the past years that it's almost surreal to be celebrating and loving today. To go from feeling like a mom -  doing everything in my power to bring my baby into the world - to actually being one is overwhelming.

Each year, Mother's Day was this horrible reminder of what I couldn't achieve, what I couldn't do. I'd dwell on this day and hate this day and let it get in my head something awful. Which I know I shouldn't have, but I did anyways. It is what it is.

Chuck always said - I've told you this before - that when I became a mom, it wouldn't matter how I got here or what had happened, just that I would be a mom and that's that. I hate it when he's right.

Sam's first breath via Amy Walton Photography

The moment Sam was born, it all washed away. All the hurt, the anger, the disappointment, it was gone. Like it had never been there before. And it suddenly didn't matter anymore how we had gotten to parenthood, to motherhood, we were here. I was finally a mom.

Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms out there.

For me, that includes human moms and pet moms and moms-to-be (those expecting, those dying to expect, those in treatment hoping to expect, and those expecting their baby via adoption).

Everything was worth it. Everything.

literally, the best week of my life.

In the last week, I have cried whilst pooping, wore depends and a bra (and that's all) for more than a 24 hour period, and popped pills like I was Whitney (is that joke too soon? whatevs).

And it has been the best week of my life.

Every cliche is true and we feel every one of them. We can't stop looking at him, we already love him so much, and he is an absolute dream come true.

Obviously, so much more to come, but trying to heal from the c-section and learn how to keep him alive and still have enough time to just stare at him for hours...well...my dance card is a little full on going back and filling you in on the details of the week. I figure, that's what next week is for. Of course, we have a zillion pictures from the week and had a photographer capture his birth, so there's a lot to share and plenty of stories to tell.

Here are a few pics we took yesterday. He may have pooped a little all over the white comforter (good news, Martha Stewart Chuck got that out) and had his first projectile pee all over Grandma Vicky. Oh the memories are already starting.

He's ringing in at about 10 lbs 8 ounces or so today and is almost back up to his fighting birth weight. He measured 21 3/4 inches at his four day old appointment - apparently he did not grow almost 2 inches in four days, but some big giant babies can get so smooshed, they need a day or so to stretch back out. Who knew? Not the woman carrying Big Boy, that's for sure.

Sam

"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him" - 1 Samuel 1:27

Samuel Kerry Allison

Saturday, May 4th at 1:55 p.m.

10 lbs, 15 ounces - 20 inches long

 

 

We are literally overflowing with love, joy, and gratitute. We have our boy! He is finally here! More to come, obviously. 

we will have a baby in 12 hours.

It's exactly 9:30 p.m. My c-section is tomorrow at 9:30 a.m.

We are having a baby in 12 hours.

We didn't do much of anything fancy tonight. Just a typical Allison evening before the definition of "typical Allison evening" changes forever. We laid on the couch with Kitten and watched Survivor (yes, we still watch Survivor and yes, that show is still on). We are super cool.

It's been just the two of us since 2001 so it's a little surreal to know that tomorrow someone else will be joining the party.

First night we held hands.



First real date that was just "us" and didn't involve our whole friend group in college joining us on our night out.

 



Favorite picture from our wedding, which was so long ago this picture is on film and had to be scanned in.

Last night of just us before it becomes us three (humans, of course).

Can't hardly wait for our first picture of the Allison Three.

See you on the other side of this...

this is what i'll be giving birth to.

I mean, conservative guess here, but I'm thinking there's a 60% chance that Sam comes out doing the truffle shuffle and offering Baby Ruth's to the surgical staff. Not realistic? Why? Do you think he's just going to eat the Baby Ruth's himself? Yeah, you're probably right.

Ok fine. Here's a better guess. What we have here are pictures of Chuck, just home from the hospital. He's about 5 days old. Give or take two years, and right before he started shaving.

I think you just need to take a minute and let this sink in.
He is enormous. Look how he wraps around his Mom's body. There is no petite, delicate, fragile newborn. This is a man child. MAN CHILD. Chuck was 10 lbs 8 oz and 23 1/2 inches long.

Chuck's Mom found the measurement card the hospital sent home with Chuck, and he and Sam's measurements are pretty close, except for the part where Sam is measuring slightly BIGGER.

Ok, so I've had a few people ask about these said measurements and how the doctors determined that I should be gutted like a fish, rather than try and push a toddler through my pelvis. There are three categories (from what we gather) that our hospital/doctors use to determine if a large baby is "too large" and likely to get stuck.

1. Mom's belly size, specifically the fundus, which is my favorite word ever. Why have we ever called it uterus, when fundus is so much fun-dus-er.
2. The estimated kilograms/pounds of the baby based on bone and belly measurements (they call it at 5,000 g or 11 pounds).
3. The difference in size between head circumference and belly.

Good news. We "qualify" on all three scales - which actually is good, because it feels like there isn't much of a question and no real "choice" to make. Winner winner, Sam ate the chicken for dinner.

1. My belly size is 3-4 weeks "ahead" - measuring at about 41 weeks when I was 38 weeks 3 days.
2. His estimated weight is 5,089 g or 11 lbs 3 oz.
3. When looking at the head versus belly size the "rule of thumb" is about 2.5 cm - as in, if the difference is under that, the kid will probably do just fine sliding out. More than 2.5, and the likelihood of him getting stuck at the shoulders is about 25%. Sam's difference is more than 7. Uh huh. SEVEN. When Chuck was born, his head to belly difference was 5, which explains why he got stuck and his Mom had a c-section too. Apparently, this is a family thing. I'm sending complaints to their gene pool.

So, take a look back at those pictures of Chuck and thank god along with me that they aren't even going to try and let that through my birth canal. And now we are just 40 short hours away from meeting our Chunk.

Question: how big will he be?!

we'll call it c-section saturday.

Well, it's not like we got Sam in there and cooking in the most traditional way, so I guess it's pretty darn fitting that we aren't getting him out the traditional way either. Doctors put you in, doctors pull you out - we are a very all natural family.

Let's back it up.

So, we had our 38 week doctor appointment yesterday. As per usual, my belly was measuring in the Mt. Everest/Kilimanjaro range at a little more than 41 weeks and even a two year can see that it's a big baby in there. This is not rocket science. The kid is enormous.

My doctor ordered the "fat baby ultrasound" for today. That is (not) the medical term for it, obviously, but it's what I called it. It's a late term ultrasound to get an idea on his size. It's the "will he?" "won't he?" fit ultrasound. They can be super inaccurate at predicting weight - up to 30% off - so we knew we would take the information with grain of salt.

Or not.

The ultrasound - we had it this morning - showed that Sam has indeed gotten a tad too big. By a tad, I mean a lot. As in his belly has accumulated lots and lots of fat in the last few weeks and is literally measuring off the charts. His head could probably fit, but the difference between head, shoulders, and belly - well, we would for sure have an "I'm stuck!" situation. Using his bone length, belly size, and head size, the estimate is 11 pounds 3 ounces.

I know. I asked if there was a problem or something to worry about, because I'm obviously panicked and handling this super well (nope), but the doctors have assured us there isn't. A small belly would concern them. Big means he is having a great time in there.

So, they are pulling the plug on us Saturday. Sam will be cooked to 39 weeks and will get to see the world on a beautiful Seattle spring day. We did our homework and the reasoning they've given us for the scheduled "c" has been fully supported by several medical reports and studies that Chuck somehow found in the limited time that we had to process this all (and I promise none of them were web forums or mommy blogs - the doctor actually referenced the same studies). Thank God Chuck's smart and learn-ed because I was a hot mess.

I cried a lot today because I had this picture in my head of what birth would be like and desperately wanted to feel what (though horrible, terrible, and awful) is what women are made to feel and endure. And it doesn't help that I missed out on other experiences getting to this pregnancy with IVF. I feel like I lost another little piece of "normal" today.

But then I back up. And take in some perspective.

It's a miracle that I'm pregnant in the first place.  And it's a miracle I'll get to hold my biological baby on Saturday, a dream that nearly escaped us and has escaped plenty of couples. Yes, he will be the huge baby that is birthed into 12 month onesies via a scheduled c-section and will need his fat rolls wiped out, but he will be ours and he will be here on Saturday.

We are almost four years to the day of when Chuck and I first decided we wanted to start a family. I will take that family any way it comes, so C-Section Saturday it is.